The chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruits and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008.

The chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruits and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008.
The bar chart given illustrates the
proportion
of folks who ate 5 times per day fruits and vegetables in the UK between 2001 and 2008.
Overall
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women are the leaders of the class as they dominated all over the years having the highest rankings and hitting
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
peak in 2006.
While
the
proportion
of both men and
children
stayed static from 2001 to 2003 and after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
the percentage started to increase.
Whereas
, the category of men hit their highest rankings between the years 2006 and 2007. The
proportion
of women who ate fruits and vegetables stayed high all over the period,
however
, in 2006 the percentage of women who ate
healthy
Change the adjective
healthily
show examples
hit around 35% and after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
the
proportion
fluctuated around 30% in 2008 , but still being in the first position.
While
children
eat most vegetables and fruits in 2007 having over 25% and the same goes for the men category. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrast, the
proportion
of
children
who ate
healthy
Change the word
healthily
show examples
between the years 2001, 2002 and respectively 2003
stay
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
the same having over 10%,
however
, in 2004 , the percentage of
children
showed a significant rise to over 15%
Submitted by annaungureanu794 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, children with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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