Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is believed that
students
must study
History
as it is extremely crucial for
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
curriculum. Others stick to the point that nowadays there are other subjects
such
as
Science
and
Technology
that are more significant rather than
History
.
While
knowledge of
Science
and
Technology
leads people to a bright future, I tend to think that through
History
we are able to broaden
the
Change the word
our
show examples
horizons in different ways. On the one hand,
History
means
exploration
Correct article usage
the exploration
show examples
of events that happened a long time ago,
whereas
Science
and
Technology
can create a new future through innovations, discussion etc.
That is
why most
students
are not willing to study
History
and
this
subject does not give them a lot of opportunities for a career path.
For instance
, it is known that there are various fields in
Science
and
Technology
with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sufficient payment, so it is easy for
students
who have a lot of insights
in
Change preposition
into
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these fields to find an appropriate job rather than those who are keen on
History
.
However
, I believe that learning
History
in schools has its own benefits.
On the other hand
,
History
helps us immerse ourselves in the time when our ancestors
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lived. By exploring their actions, we can recognize how we
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
up with all of
this
that has today.
In addition
, it helps
students
to improve their memory, analyze a situation etc. Take
for example
the
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apply
show examples
World War 1 or 2, thanks to
the
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apply
show examples
History
,
students
increase their awareness of the horrible things that occurred in that time so perhaps
students
will be against the war. I believe that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the advantages of learning
History
are endless.
To conclude
, despite the fact that our future depends on
Science
and technological development, I do think that
History
is playing an important role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
developing memory skills and providing
students
with information about historical times in order to understand society and themselves.
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides your own opinion, which is excellent. However, to improve task achievement, consider providing more specific examples or evidence to support your points on both sides of the argument. For instance, mention particular technological advancements or specific historical events and their impacts more concretely.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great. To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next by using more transition words. It helps to maintain the reader's focus and make your argument more cohesive. Also, try to maintain a consistent structure in the body paragraphs to support your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay maintains clarity by avoiding small grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. For better cohesion, connect ideas within paragraphs more effectively. For instance, the transition from discussing jobs in Science and Technology to the benefits of studying History in the second paragraph could be smoother by briefly acknowledging both points of view before detailing them.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets out the debate and your position, which immediately gives the reader a good understanding of your essay's purpose.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument before concluding with your own opinion, which is crucial for this type of essay.
task achievement
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reinforces your position effectively, which leaves a strong final impression on the reader.
coherence cohesion
Paragraphs have a logical structure, and each paragraph is focused on a single main idea, which helps in maintaining clarity.
task achievement
The use of examples like World War I and II effectively illustrates your points about the importance of history.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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