Some employers offer their employees subsidizedmembership of gyms and sport clubs , believe that this will make their staff healthier and more effective at work . Other employees find no benifit doing so. Discuss both views .
Few employers offer subsidized membership
of
Change preposition
in
gym
and Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
sports
club
for their Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
employees
. This
will motivate employees
to work out and remain fit. Whereas
others feel that it’s a complete waste of time for them and they do not engage themselves in any sort of physical activity. While the
former view of Correct word choice
The
employer
is motivating and Add an article
the employer
provide
health Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
option
to Fix the agreement mistake
options
employees
as compared to the latter view of employees
.
To begin
with, Corporates
these days face Replace the word
Corporations
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
regards to
employee health like physical or mental exhaustion. It is a welcoming decision by them to provide subsidized membership Replace the word
regarding
of
Change preposition
to
gym
, Add an article
the gym
sports
club which inspire
Correct subject-verb agreement
inspires
employee
to remain fit and healthy. Fix the agreement mistake
employees
Furthermore
, the benefits are enormous for employees
as they can monitor and track their fitness
level and make sure they are free from any kind of diseases
or Fix the agreement mistake
disease
burnouts
. To illustrate, In India, many people pay attention to their Fix the agreement mistake
burnout
fitness
as compared to western
countries. So, providing subsidized membership is a good initiative by enterprises.
Capitalize word
Western
However
, Others feel that visiting gyms and sports
club
daily is Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
time consuming
and do not provide any health benefits. they feel that if they do exercise and play any Add a hyphen
time-consuming
sports
it will be termed as childish and ignore importance
of physical well-being. Add an article
the importance
Moreover
, many people are not aware of countless
Correct article usage
the countless
benefit
of Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
fitness
. For example
, In the US, many obese people do not pay attention to healthy lifestyle
. Eating healthy food and exercising regularly keeps them fit, but they ignore Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
such
advises
despite providing facilities for exercise.
In conclusion, Replace the word
advice
although
Employers are striving hard to make sure their employee
are fit and healthy, still Many Fix the agreement mistake
employees
employees
do not take advantages
of Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
facilities
provided by employers, Correct article usage
the facilities
Employees
are not paying attention to their fitness
.Submitted by yash334 on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view and addresses both sides of the argument. However, your ideas could be more fully developed with more specific examples and deeper analysis.
task achievement
Ensure you provide more detailed and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments and increase the clarity of your response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the organization of paragraphs can be improved for better logical flow. Consider linking ideas more effectively between and within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow of your essay. Phrases like 'on the other hand,' 'in contrast,' and 'therefore' can help to connect your ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
You provide a clear conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points, which is a strength in coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the issue and presents both sides of the argument, which is effective in framing the essay.