It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

#travel #places #culture #people #books #films #internet

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For some people travelling to foreign countries can be avoided by reading books, watching movies or

surf

Wrong verb form

surfing

show examples

on the world wide web. In my opinion, living the

experince

Correct your spelling

experience

of a face-to-face encounter with another culture and living in the way these

community

Change the determiner

communities

show examples

do, is not comparable with the other aforementioned methods.

Firstly

, travelling physically

into

Change preposition

show examples

another

country

makes the experience much greater. Getting in touch with

a the

Choose an article

the

show examples

environment,

breathing

Correct word choice

and breathing

show examples

its air is a

complete

Change the adjective

completely

show examples

different experience than reading it in a book or watching it on television. Taking a safari trip, experiencing the heat and seeing the lions in real life cannot be done through a computer.

In addition

, cameras are not able to film what you see with your own eyes and transmit

you

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

those emotions and memories.

Furthermore

, travelling to another

country

means eating what they eat, speaking how they speak and

adapt

Wrong verb form

adapting

show examples

to their usualities. If you want to

immerge

Correct your spelling

immerse

show examples

yourself in an

allround

Correct your spelling

all-round

all round

experience you have to have to live in the conditions the other people are

Change preposition

in.

show examples

To make it clearer, it can be advantageous to mention a

country

for

instance

Add a comma

instance,

show examples

Spain, to understand what I mean. First of all, you have to learn the basics of their language, eat a proper paella and do the so-called siesta, which is an afternoon nap.

To sum up

, in my opinion travelling to another

country

to learn another culture is not comparable with reading it in books or other methods. Watching movies and

research

Wrong verb form

researching

show examples

the

country

on the internet can be positive to prepare yourself for the journey but nothing more than that.

Submitted by brama.chris on Tue Jul 30 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic well, but some ideas could be expanded further for more clarity and depth. Aim to provide more specific examples and elaborate on your points to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Focus on ensuring that all paragraphs link smoothly to each other. Your introduction and conclusion are present and generally clear, but try to enhance the logical flow between your points.

language

Be cautious of small grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. For instance, "travelling physically into another country" could be rephrased to "physically traveling to another country." Minor changes like these will enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly states your position and sets the stage for your argument.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples such as the safari trip and the Spanish culture, which positively contribute to the explanation of your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural immersion
digital access
firsthand experience
nuanced understanding
cultural subtleties
cost-effective learning
real-time interaction
personal growth
sensory engagement
global interconnectedness

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It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn the culture of other people. We can learn just as much from books, films and the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing, Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviours. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discurss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing,  Do you think this is a positive or negative development?