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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Mobile phone subscriptions

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. Mobile phone subscriptions
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The presented graph illustrates the
number
 of individuals who have subscribed to fixed and mobile phone lines from 2005 and 2015 in four various countries. As a general trend, The fixed telephone subscriptions remained constant with only a few moderate changes; meanwhile, the
number
 of people
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 to a mobile telephone significantly differed depending on the country. Both, UK and Eritrea, experienced the mildest changes in the amount of
users
. With regards to mobile phones, the
number
 of those subscribing in India and
Uruguay
 rose dramatically. In
Uruguay
Add a comma
Uruguay,
show examples
 it went up from just about 40 000
users
 to a high of approximately 170 000 in 2014. A pretty steady rise is
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 in India from 2007 to 2014,
while
 the amount of
users
 increased by almost
80 000
Correct your spelling
80,000
. The
number
 of fixed telephone
users
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and
Uruguay
 remained stable, facing just an insignificant fluctuation around the middle of the time frame given.
While
 the amount of subscriptions upsurged in
Uruguay
 and Eritrea, the exact opposite happened in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and India.
Submitted by evijavidemane on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, users, uruguay with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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