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Writing Samples /
Band 1

Your sister has been in the hosptial for a week .During this time, you have noticed the meals they are providing for her are very poor qulity . write an email to the hosptial manager and include the following things.

#sister #week #time #meals #qulity #email #manager
Dear hospital manager, I am
writting
Correct your spelling
writing
 to express my concern
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have about the
food
 quality at your hospital. My sister has been in the hospital for a week, and the meals the nurses are feeding
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
her
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
 unhealthy.
Frst
Correct your spelling
First
 of all, I observed your
food
 is very
hygenicall
Correct your spelling
hygienically
. During the
last
days
Correct quantifier usage
few days
show examples
,my sister suffered from very bad stomach pain and in that
stituation
Correct your spelling
situation
 your staff was providing semi form of
food
 to her. Your menu was the same for all patients.
Acording
Correct your spelling
According
 to me they should provide some liquid form of
food
 as well
should
Correct word choice
and should
show examples
 not fix
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 menu because every patient has
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 kinds of
problem
Add an article
the problem
a problem
show examples
 so
acoording
Correct your spelling
according
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 problem need to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
served that type of
food
 which is good for
patient’s
Correct article usage
the patient’s
show examples
 health. I hope you
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
like my
suggestrion
Correct your spelling
suggestion
suggestions
 and you accept it Regards, Rajnish Kaur.
Submitted by rajneshkaur98150 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your writing covers all points with sufficient detail and examples to back up your concerns.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a clear structure, starting with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs each with a single main idea, and ending with a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Revise your writing for grammatical accuracy and to reduce spelling errors.
task achievement
Your letter addresses the main concern, which is the poor quality of food provided to your sister in the hospital.
task achievement
You have provided some reasoning as to why the food quality is an issue, such as mentioning hygienic concerns and the need for liquid diets.
coherence cohesion
The tone of the letter is polite and conveys your concerns respectfully.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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