Natural resources, such as water, forest, and oil are being used at an excessive rate. What is the main cause of this problem? How can this issue be solved?
The planet's resources are being exploited at an alarming pace. The primary cause of
this
phenomenon is overpopulation in big cities, and the most viable solution is to raise people
's awareness of this
issue.
Millions of people
are working and living in big cities every day. That is
to say that a huge amount of energy
is being consumed to serve the basic needs of citizens. This
in turn results in serious energy
depletion as the demand for natural resources is becoming higher and higher, especially in the form of petrol, water and gas. Many people
have to use these for transportation, and household applicants. For example
, gas and petrol stations in Vietnam provide millions
litres of petrol to motorbike and car owners without a day off.
A long-term solution to Add the preposition
millions of
this
predicament is to promote people
's awareness through social media. By making communities on online media, people
from all over the world will be able to participate in solving the problem. It will not only make it easier for us to spread the message of conserving our natural sources of energy
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
educating
young Wrong verb form
educate
people
about the consequences of wasting energy
. In fact, thanks to TED, there are many campaigns about protecting the environment are being carried out and encouraged by many individuals.
In conclusion, the planet is being depleted at a staggering rate because too many people
are using the resources excessively and the message of this
problem must be conveyed to the whole world.Submitted by maymocsb on
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task achievement
You have clearly addressed the task, but adding more concrete details on how overpopulation directly impacts resource consumption might strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are generally clear, consider adding in-text references or transitions to indicate the relationship between your ideas more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
task achievement
You provide relevant specific examples, such as the petrol stations in Vietnam, which strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs that each focus on a single idea or aspect of the discussion.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...