The bar chart compares the percentage of people with scientific qualifications in Malaysia and Singapore.

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The bar graph shows the percentages of individuals with different education levels of science, including master's, bachelor's, high school, and none, in two different nations.

Overall

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, in

Malaysia

Use synonyms

, there is a higher prevalence of residents with weaker qualifications,

whereas

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in Singapore, there is a greater concentration of highly qualified residents. The most popular option in

Malaysia

Use synonyms

is to drop out of school earlier and start a side job

as well as

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in Singapore where the proportion of people without a science degree is 10 per cent less in comparison with

Malaysia

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, in fact, half of the whole population in both countries choose

this

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option.

Furthermore

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, the school leaving exams rate is exactly similar to the no qualification graph, but it decreased by 30 per cent from both states.

On the other hand

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, Singapore is half a per cent ahead of

Malaysia

Use synonyms

in bachelor's degrees;

however

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, the percentage plummeted drastically, 20% and 10% respectively. The next result is surprising, a tie happened in master's degrees among both powers, slightly above 2 percent.

UmarTue Jul 30 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

171 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

percentage
scientific qualifications
educational focus
governmental policies
science and technology education
industrially driven demand
cultural attitudes
international collaborations
scholarships
disparities

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The bar chart compares the percentage of people with scientific qualifications in Malaysia and Singapore.

Today, lots of people have their own computer and a telephone, which made it easy for people to do job at their home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some companies have uniforms for their staffs which must be worn at all times. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Different types of robots are now being developed which can be a friend, help at work and at school. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many people think that every individual is responsible for their own healthy lifestyle. Others believe that governments should take care of it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.