IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Science is more useful than human judgement in stopping crime. To what extent do you agree?

#science #judgement #crime
Some individuals believe that
Science
 is more beneficial than human
judgement
Correct your spelling
judgment
show examples
 in criminal
cases
. I partly agree with that because If there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
DNA
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
science
 may solve the whole
crime
.
However
, sometimes there is no
evidence
 and we should trust the Judge's decision.
Science
 might be beneficial for stopping crimes. It provides us
real
Change preposition
with real
show examples
proof
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that
crime
case
.
For instance
, If there is no
evidence
such
 as
video
Correct article usage
a video
show examples
 record or some witness and
also
 we just have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 hair of somebody. When they check the
DNA
 of hair, they may find the criminal with just a hair.
However
, If we find two different hairs in
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
show examples
 area and we know that there is one criminal, scientific checks cannot be helpful for us because we have to ask both of these suspects.
Hence
,
Science
 can be beneficial If there is
an
Remove the article
evidence
a piece of evidence
a shred of evidence
show examples
evidence
 with
DNA
 checks.
Nevertheless
, If we have two or more
proof
 it cannot solve the whole
crime
.
On the other hand
, Sometimes we need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
human
judgement
Correct your spelling
judgment
show examples
 in
cases
. If there are some problems
such
 as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
evidence
 or lack of
witness
Fix the agreement mistake
witnesses
show examples
. Somebody
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to ask suspects some
psyhclogical
Correct your spelling
psychological
 questions to solve
crime
Add an article
the crime
a crime
show examples
.
For example
, Recently ın my neighborhood there was a
case
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 robbery.
However
, It happened
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 night
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 nobody saw the criminal. They have two or three suspects and they have to ask them questions
such
 as where were you at that time. In the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
 some of the
suspect
Change to a plural noun
suspects
show examples
gives
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
 up and
explain
Wrong verb form
explained
show examples
his
Change the word
the
show examples
 whole robbery and he
punished
Add a missing verb
is punished
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 3 years.
Therefore
, If we do not have
proof
 to solve
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
show examples
 human
judgement
 might be useful for these
cases
.
To sum up
, Some people believe that
Science
 is more useful than human
judgement
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 solving and
also
 stopping
ciriminal
Correct your spelling
criminal
cases
. I partly agree with that because In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 it depends on the
evidence
. If we have enough
evidence
 to find out
criminal
Add an article
the criminal
show examples
 from his/her
DNA
,
Science
 may solve
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
case
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 itself.
However
, Sometimes we do not have enough
proof
 to
solving
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
 these
cases
 by
Science
, At that time human
judgement
 will solve these
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
show examples
 by
ask
Change the verb form
asking
show examples
 suspects some
psyhclogical
Correct your spelling
psychological
 questions.
Submitted by taylanpolat6124 on

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task response
Your introduction is clear and presents your position. However, try to develop it a bit further for a stronger impact.
task response
Expand on your main points with additional examples or explanations to make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on the organization of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to improve overall coherence.
overall
Pay attention to some grammatical errors and strive for a better range of vocabulary to make your writing more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Include a stronger concluding sentence to firmly restate your position on the topic.
task response
You provide relevant and specific examples that support your arguments, which is very good.
task response
Your main points are clear and easy to understand.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow, and the conclusion summarizes your points well.
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