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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.
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The line chart displays the unemployed people's percentage in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States and Japan between
Use synonyms
march
Capitalize word
March
show examples
 1993 and
Use synonyms
march
Capitalize word
March
show examples
 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, America's unemployment
rate
Use synonyms
 gradually decreased over the time period.
In contrast
Linking Words
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Japan's
unemployed
Replace the word
unemployment
show examples
 people's
rate
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
increased steadily. The United
States'
Correct your spelling
States
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 unemployment percentage started at a higher
rate
Use synonyms
 of 7.0
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1993
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and gradually decreased until it reached approximately under 5.5% in
March
Use synonyms
 1995. After that, it remained relatively stable for one more year.
Then
Linking Words
, the
rate
Use synonyms
 of unemployed individuals began to decline consistently year on year until it reached just above 4.0% in
March
Use synonyms
 1999. Japan's unemployed workforce began the time period at a lower
rate
Use synonyms
 with just nearly above 2.0
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, and it went up to 3.5% in nearly
March
Use synonyms
 1996.
Then
Linking Words
, the
rate
Use synonyms
 of unemployed workforce fluctuated between 3.0% and 3.5% from
March
Use synonyms
 1996 to
March
Use synonyms
 1998. After that, there
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 a significant increase in the number of people who did not have jobs until it reached its highest point at approximately
above
Change preposition
apply
show examples
4.5%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words march, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unemployment rate
  • Trend
  • Comparison
  • Period
  • Sharp increase/decrease
  • Correlation
  • Economic policies
  • Technological advancements
  • Global economic conditions
  • Consumer spending
  • Social welfare
  • Public sentiment
  • Predictions
  • Economic strategies
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