In the future, people may no longer be able to pay things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phone. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic → Introduction
Since the advancement
onChange preposition
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methodCheck wording
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, people nowadays start using virtual
methodCheck wording
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to pay their
billFix the agreement mistake
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.
, can mobile
replace real
and convince everybody?
Body paragraph 1
In my opinion,
payWrong verb form
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with real
still
takeCorrect subject-verb agreement
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an important place in recent society, and it will not have
change in the future. The reason why I think
based on the technology development and
energyCorrect article usage
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problem.
Body paragraph 2
let's talk about technology, with
development in virtual
, some hacker or scammer will start thinking how to get
through
method.
Body paragraph 3
, if someone got hacked or scammed after using
cardCorrect article usage
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or phone to pay will trust it anymore.
Body paragraph 4
, let's talk about
energyCorrect article usage
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problem. Begin with situation simulation,
IfFix capitalization
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you are facing
naturalCorrect article usage
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disaster like
typhoonCorrect article usage
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or
tornadoCorrect article usage
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, and
cityCorrect article usage
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is
out ofChange preposition
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electricity. In
kind of situation, it's barely impossible to get food with
creditCorrect article usage
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card in
storeCorrect article usage
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cause the
allCorrect word choice
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system is
shoutVerb problem
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down, and the only way is
usingWrong verb form
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real
to pay.
Conclusion
In conclusion, real
is still a non-replacement way to pay
,Punctuation problem
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people with the problem above will definitely not feel good
toChange preposition
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giving up real
. Maybe it is not the most convince but it is the most reliable.
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Overall score: 5. Your answer has a clear opinion, but you need to answer both questions more fully. Say more clearly if a cash-free future will happen, even if only in some places.
Explain why people do not want to give up cash in more detail. You mention scams and no power, which are good. You could also write about old people, people without phones or bank cards, and people who want to keep their buying private.
Make each example complete. For example, write: "If a person is hacked after paying by phone, they may not trust this way of paying again."
Keep one main idea in each body part. Body 1 can be about scams. Body 2 can be about power cuts. Then explain each idea with a clear result.
Some links are not clear. Instead of "The reason why I think that is based on the technology development and energy problem", write: "This is because of safety risks and power cuts."
Avoid very short or unfinished lines. For example, "First, let's talk about technology" is not needed. Start with the main point: "First, card and phone payments can be unsafe."
Use clear ending words. Instead of "Maybe it is not the most convince", write: "Cash may not be the easiest way to pay, but it is more reliable in some cases."
You give a clear view: cash will still be important in the future.
You give two useful reasons: safety problems and power cuts.
Your essay has an opening, two main parts, and an ending.
Words such as "First", "Secondly", "For instance", and "In conclusion" help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.