In the future, people may no longer be able to pay things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phone. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?
Since the advancement
on
Change preposition
of
payment
Add an article
the payment
method
, people nowadays Fix the agreement mistake
methods
start
using Wrong verb form
have started
virtual
Add an article
the virtual
a virtual
method
to pay their Fix the agreement mistake
methods
bill
. Fix the agreement mistake
bills
However
, can mobile payment
complete
replace real Change the word
completely
money
and convince everybody?
In my opinion, pay with real money
still take
an important place in recent society, and it will not have dramatically Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
change
in the future. The reason why I think Wrong verb form
changed
that is
based on the technology development and energy problem.
First,
let's talk about technology, with higer
development in virtual Correct your spelling
higher
payment
, some hacker
or Fix the agreement mistake
hackers
scammer
will start thinking Fix the agreement mistake
scammers
how
to get Change preposition
about how
mony
through Correct your spelling
money
this
payment
method.
For instance
, if someone got hacked or scammed after using card
or phone to pay Correct article usage
a card
will
trust it anymoreWrong verb form
would
.
Change the punctuation
?
Secondly
, let's talk about energy
problem. Begin with situation simulation, If you are facing Add an article
the energy
natural
disaster like Add an article
a natural
typhoon
or tornado, and Correct article usage
a typhoon
city
is out of electricity. In Add an article
the city
this
kind of situation, it's barely impossible to get food with credit
card Add an article
a credit
in store
Add a hyphen
in-store
cause
the all system is Correct word choice
because
shout
down, and the only way is using real Correct your spelling
shut
money
to pay.
In conclusion, real money
is still a non-replacement way to pay, people with the problem above will definitely not feel good to
giving up real Change preposition
about
money
. Maybe it is not the most convince
but it is the most reliable.Change the form of the verb
convincing
Submitted by rdrd98765432 on
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grammar
Work on improving your grammar and spelling to enhance clarity. Pay attention to sentence structure and verb forms.
development
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on them to strengthen your arguments. This will make your response more convincing and comprehensive.
structure
Enhance your introduction and conclusion by making them more engaging. A strong introduction sets the tone for the essay, and a strong conclusion leaves a lasting impression.
task response
Your essay addresses the topic and discusses relevant points, particularly the issues of cybersecurity and energy problems.
coherence
The points you make are logical and relevant, showing a good understanding of the topic.
structure
You have a structured approach with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.