Some people think that the support of celebrities for international aid organisations draws attention to their causes, while others think celebrity support makes their causes seem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #support #celebrities #aid #organisations #attention #celebrity

Nowdays

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Nowadays

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many

people

prefer to celebrate

for

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apply

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international

eid

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Eid

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and say it is

signifcant

Correct your spelling

significant

while

others argue that and

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have no

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support.

Therefore

, in

this

essay, I will discuss

down

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apply

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both sides . First of all, most

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apply

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people

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the people

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believe that

the

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national day is a

significat

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significant

event

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for

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country

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the country

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. To

demonstarte

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demonstrate

more, each person put

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a printscreen

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printscreen

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PrintScreen

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that day .

For instance

, many of them

dancing

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dance

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and

singing

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sing

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in an

anicent

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ancient

place .

people

feel peace and

confident

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confidence

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when they

celebrated

Wrong verb form

celebrate

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. On

other

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the other

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hand, some

individulas

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individuals

suffer in the

celebrate

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celebration

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which

lead

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leads

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to some causes,

firstly

, they do not have any skills or

hobbes

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hobbies

. To

details

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detail

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more, some

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

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poor from a

pertty

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pretty

sound to sing .

Hence

, they are

shy

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too shy

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to shine

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special

day

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days

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Furthermore

, some young can appear

happiness

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happy

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silent

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being silent

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and

let

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letting

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other

people

share . In conclusion, I strongly believe

people

should celebrate

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the way who note

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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right

.some individulas

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Some individuals

believe clebrate is

professional

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a professional

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event

while

others

blieve

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believe

is not

important

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an important

show examples

event. Celebrate

give

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gives

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a chance to connect with different ages in

country

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the country

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Submitted by lailakhalil3 on Wed Jul 31 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the topic but the response is not complete and lacks depth. Try to provide more comprehensive ideas and detailed arguments. Ensure that you cover both views more equally and address the prompt more precisely.

task achievement

There are several grammatical and vocabulary errors which affect the clarity of the essay. Focus on improving your language accuracy to make your arguments clearer.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a basic logical structure but it could be improved with clearer paragraphs and better transitions between ideas. For example, you can use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one point to another.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened. Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the points to be discussed and your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points while giving your final opinion.

task achievement

The essay shows a good attempt at addressing and discussing both views regarding the topic.

task achievement

You have used some relevant examples to support your arguments, which is good practice.

coherence cohesion

The overall structure of having an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion is good. Keep working on organizing and developing your ideas within this structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

178 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Garner significant media attention
Raise awareness
International aid organisations
Increased donations and support
Lend credibility
Sense of urgency
Overshadow the actual issues
Superficial understanding
Complexities of the issues
Perceived as a trend
Public perception
Media attention
Broader audience
Social media following
Relatable to the general public

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Some people think that the support of celebrities for international aid organisations draws attention to their causes, while others think celebrity support makes their causes seem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

People are using a lot of online language translation apps. Are the advantages more than disadvantages of such services.

Children spend a lot of time watching TV and playing computer games, however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree?

The number of children that read for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage children to read more? (Write at least 250 words.)

Are classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets should have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods, while others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.