People drink more and more sugar-based drinks. What is the reason why more and more people consume suger-based drinks? How to reduce the consumption of sugar-based drinks?

Over the
last
few decades,the percentage of drinking some edible which includes sugar has risen dramatically.
In other words
,these days,more and more
people
are consuming a considerable amount of Coke or sugary
drinks
which are so damaging.In
this
essay,I will address some reasons for drinking these unsuitable
drinks
and
also
I will propose some effective ways in order to decrease the usage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sweet
drinks
. Let's begin by looking at some reasons for consuming sugar-based
drinks
.
Firstly
,the price of
this
edible might be less than other healthy
drinks
.
That is
to say,the majority of
people
may prefer to drink harmful sugar-based
drinks
regardless of their disadvantages
due to
their lower costs.
Secondly
,the taste of sugar-based
drinks
might be more delicious and sweeter than other
drinks
such
as milk or tea.
This
is because why most
people
tend to drink them
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
.
Although
some
people
are aware of the demerits of soft
drinks
,they are into
use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
them because of their cheapness and taste. Turning to the other side of the argument,how
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society can tackle
this
problem and reduce the consumption of destructive
drinks
?One of the main effective ways is for the
government
to inform
people
about the drawbacks of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sweet
drinks
.If the populations who have got used to
consume
Change the verb form
consuming
show examples
sugar-based
drinks
know about the disadvantages of them,they will not tend to purchase them and drink them.
Moreover
,another striking way to decline the usage of sugar-based
drinks
is that the
government
plummet
Wrong verb form
has plummeted
show examples
the amount of advertisements for some companies which manufacture
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sugary
drinks
.Take Pepsi as an example.In
this
case,not only can not
people
be aroused to buy sugar-based
drinks
,but
also
they will be motivated to follow a strict diet in order to be healthy.
To conclude
,there is no doubt that nowadays more and more
people
are drinking some damaging
drinks
such
as sugary ones.
However
,
people
can reduce the amount of consumption of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
dietary
drinks
with the help of the
government
.
As a result
,the proportion of drinking sugary
drinks
will remain unchanged unless both folk and the
government
consider its problems.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
Try to provide more relevant specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you can cite studies or statistics to back your claims about the cost and taste preferences of sugar-based drinks.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Make sure your points are stated clearly and delve deeper into each reason and solution.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs flow smoothly. You can achieve better transitions by using appropriate linking words or phrases between sentences and ideas.
coherence cohesion
It would help to break long sentences into shorter ones for better readability. Also, improve punctuation by adding spaces after commas and periods.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states the issue and what the essay will cover, which draws the reader in and sets the context well.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the importance of addressing the issue, reinforcing your argument.
logical structure
You have provided some logical structure to your essay with distinct sections addressing causes and solutions.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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