In the future, people may no longer be able to pay things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phone. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

In the future, things in stores using cash will be not paid by
people
, with all
payments
may transfer
Wrong verb form
transferred
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
via cards or mobile devices in my opinion. It looks like it will happen as soon as
.
Correct word choice
possible.
show examples
I am going to explain the purpose
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
essay.
To begin
with, using cards is a trend in the world.
People
prefer to
phone
Wrong verb form
phones
show examples
or
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
when they pay for items. Digital
payments
offer so many advantages
such
easy
Change preposition
as easy
show examples
, quick,
speed
Correct word choice
and speed
show examples
and one does not need to carry any cashiers.
This
platform represents that,
people
do not need to wait for change which is the biggest problem in Azerbaijani stores.
Secondly
,
this
is
protect
Fix the infinitive
to protect
show examples
your
money
from any thief and
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
money
Change preposition
of money
show examples
any
Change preposition
for any
show examples
of the reasons.
Also
, digital
payments
reduce some of the diseases
which
Change preposition
with which
show examples
a lot of
people
have contact with
money
or
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
a lot of dirty places. Despite these benefits, some
people
are not happy to give up using paper
money
or coins. One reason is a lot of
people
do not believe
card
system which they had really
bax
Correct your spelling
bad
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
in the past.
For instance
, in
Soviet
Correct article usage
the Soviet
show examples
Union
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
forced to the humans keep their
money
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was safe and made more budget.
As a result
, when
Sovet
Correct your spelling
Soviet
Union gave up all
ot
Correct your spelling
of
the
money
lost value.
Furthermore
, online thief
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
active
this
time as they try to use some white lie and take their
money
.
For example
, All of the world is fighting
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
them now.
Thus
Correct your spelling
This
show examples
card
system is powerless against them. In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages to using online
payments
while
it belongs to the personality. If they can protect and control their
card
that is
wonderful to use. Obviously, modern life is not ready to be online
payments
for everyone. It does not matter how you pay be sure you do
this
process with your own budget.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Your essay needs a clearer and more precise introduction. Mention your main points succinctly and set the tone for your essay. The introduction needs to present the key arguments that will be discussed later.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph contains one main idea supported with relevant examples and explanations. This will help improve the logical flow of your essay.
relevant specific examples
You need to provide more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention some current statistics or real-world examples about digital payment trends.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on clearer, more comprehensive ideas for each of your points. Sometimes the meaning gets lost due to grammar errors. Focus on clear grammatical structures.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have provided a balanced discussion considering both the advantages and disadvantages of digital payments, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
supported main points
You have attempted to provide reasons and examples for your points, which is good practice.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cashless society
  • digital payment systems
  • financial institutions
  • transparency
  • illegal activities
  • privacy reasons
  • digital trace
  • technologically challenged
  • cybersecurity threats
  • technical failures
  • cultural attachments
  • resistant to change
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!