Nowadays more and more young people hold the important positions in the government. some people think that it is good thing, while other argue that it is not suitable. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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In current times, many young people hold the upper positions in the government. It is often said that it has a lot of benefits,
however
others believe that
this
young leadership is not convenient. In
this
essay, I will examine both sides of the argument and provide my
overall
opinion. On the one hand,
this
trend has some drawbacks. The main problem is older people do not accept young leadership. They think that the new generation
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
have accurate knowledge of command and
also
think that they are short-tempered
Submitted by belmontsy01 on

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task achievement
Include specific examples to support both sides of the argument, such as instances where young leaders have succeeded or failed.
task achievement
Develop the points further to provide a complete response. For example, elaborate on why some people think young leaders lack experience.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea. Try to address one main point per paragraph to maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
Add a conclusion to summarize the main points and restate your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical flow of ideas with clear transitions between paragraphs and points, which will help to improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction that presents the topic and main argument.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument, which shows an effort to provide a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The language used is clear and comprehensible, making it easy for the reader to follow the arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovative solutions
  • Modern policies
  • Adequately represented
  • Viewpoints and issues
  • High energy levels
  • Adaptability
  • Complex political landscape
  • Impulsive decisions
  • Undue influence
  • Susceptible to pressure
  • Seasoned colleagues
  • Lobbyists
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