These pie charts illustrate the visitors’ categorization in 4 different kinds of tourist destinations in the UK in 1981 and 1999.

These pie charts illustrate the visitors’ categorization in  4 different kinds of tourist destinations  in the UK in 1981 and 1999.
These pie charts illustrate the
visitors
’ categorization in 4 different kinds of tourist destinations in the UK in 1981 and 1999.
Overall
, in 1981 and 1999, there was a striking point
of
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for
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visitors
who came to museums and galleries.
Furthermore
, the percentage of
people
who visited the wildlife
parks
and zoos in 2 years was true for the opposite side.
According to
the data, in 1981, the proportion of
visitors
who came to these destinations in total was 29.1 million individuals , especially in museums and galleries, which reached the highest percentage at 48%. In theme
parks
, the number of
visitors
was lower at 16%.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
historic houses and monuments accounted for 16% and
in
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apply
show examples
the wildlife
parks
and zoos,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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reached the lowest number of
visitors
in 1981 and stayed at only 4%. It can be easily seen that, in 1999, the number of
people
who visited these tourist attractions in the UK
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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doubled
than
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apply
show examples
in 1981 was about 41,5 million
people
. Especially in museums and galleries, it decreased
at
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by
show examples
10%.
However
, theme
parks
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
wildlife
parks
and zoos went up rapidly by about 5%.
Moreover
, the proportion of
people
who visited historical houses and monuments still stayed the same in 19821 at 16%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, people, parks with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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