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Band 6.5

These pie charts illustrate the visitors’ categorization in 4 different kinds of tourist destinations in the UK in 1981 and 1999.

These pie charts illustrate the visitors’ categorization in 4 different kinds of tourist destinations in the UK in 1981 and 1999.
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These pie charts illustrate the
visitors
Use synonyms
’ categorization in 4 different kinds of tourist destinations in the UK in 1981 and 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 1981 and 1999, there was a striking point
of
Change preposition
for
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visitors
Use synonyms
 who came to museums and galleries.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who visited the wildlife
parks
Use synonyms
 and zoos in 2 years was true for the opposite side.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, in 1981, the proportion of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who came to these destinations in total was 29.1 million individuals , especially in museums and galleries, which reached the highest percentage at 48%. In theme
parks
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, the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 was lower at 16%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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historic houses and monuments accounted for 16% and
in
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apply
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the wildlife
parks
Use synonyms
 and zoos,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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reached the lowest number of
visitors
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 in 1981 and stayed at only 4%. It can be easily seen that, in 1999, the number of
people
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 who visited these tourist attractions in the UK
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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doubled
than
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apply
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in 1981 was about 41,5 million
people
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. Especially in museums and galleries, it decreased
at
Change preposition
by
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 10%.
However
Linking Words
, theme
parks
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
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wildlife
parks
Use synonyms
 and zoos went up rapidly by about 5%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who visited historical houses and monuments still stayed the same in 19821 at 16%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, people, parks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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