IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The given pie charts portray how many people, in two years, participated and experienced in 4 different types of tourist situations in the UK.

The given pie charts portray how many people, in two
years
Use synonyms
, participated and experienced in 4 different types of tourist situations in the UK.
Overall
Linking Words
, in general, the percentage of visitors considerably rose from 29.1 million to 41.5 million in 18
years
Use synonyms
. In both
years
Use synonyms
, both pie charts had certain fluctuations in
visitor’s
Change noun form
visitor
show examples
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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. Looking at the two charts, the wildlife parks and zoos had the lowest
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 in 1981 but slightly rose from 4% to 9% in 1999.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the proportion of attendance people in museums and galleries accounted for the highest in 1981 but
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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slightly changed in 1999, it decreased by 10% compared to 1981.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is readily apparent that the number of people who visited Historic Houses and Monuments remained stable at 16% in both
years
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
,from 1981 to 1999, the slight
changed
Replace the word
change
show examples
 in visitors in the Theme Parks was from 32% to 37% in the UK.

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that trends are clearly described and that data is adequately and accurately referenced throughout the essay. Clarify the key features and trends, and make sure everything written is backed up with precise data.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that there are smooth transitions between ideas. Use more signal words and linking phrases to help guide the reader through the essay seamlessly.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and sets the stage for the information that follows.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay is good, making it easy to follow the progression of ideas.
supported main points
The essay provides a general overview and details on specific categories, which shows an attempt to thoroughly discuss the data.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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