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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reportung the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reportung the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph given illustrates data on coffee and tea in five Australian cities. The graph relates 20% to 70%.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
cases
Use synonyms
 in
Mlebourne
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
 was more than the
number
Use synonyms
 of figures in
Adeleaide
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, it is noticeable that there is a
developmemt
Correct your spelling
development
. It can be clearly seen that,
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 humans coffee and tea buying and drinking.The initial one to consider is that there was a rise to 64% in
Mlebourne
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
.
Also
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
cases
Use synonyms
 fell slightly to about 49% in
Adelalde
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks.
In addition
Linking Words
, In recent years, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
cases
Use synonyms
 increased significantly to 63% in Hobart.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there was a significant drop to 34% in Brisbane.
Furthmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, there was a
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 55% in Hobart. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the given data, it is remarkable that there is a leap. The figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
cases
Use synonyms
 in
Adeleaide
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 less than the
number
Use synonyms
 of
cases
Use synonyms
 in
Mlebourne
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
.
Reference
Change preposition
In reference
show examples
 to
Correct article usage
the represneted
show examples
represneted
Correct your spelling
represented
represent
 figures, it is significant that there is an
achievemnet
Correct your spelling
achievement
.
Submitted by shaikhaalrashidi24 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, cases with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 3 times.
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