In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you thinks some people might not be happy to give up using cash?
Nowadays, it is undeniable that electronic payments have spread not only in in-store shopping
mall
Fix the agreement mistake
malls
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
small
markets and stalls. There is no need for individuals to carry Change preposition
in small
heavy
and big Add an article
a heavy
wallet
with Fix the agreement mistake
wallets
cash
in it
, as many places improvised Correct pronoun usage
them
the
cashless payments. I agree that we can lessen the amount of Correct article usage
apply
cash
we use daily for any purchases.
In my opinion, all cash
uses
in making purchases will diminish one day and Fix the agreement mistake
use
replace
with Wrong verb form
be replaced
card
or Fix the agreement mistake
cards
using
phones. The advantage of it is that we can adapt to new technology Verb problem
apply
advancement
with just a swipe of the card. The amount of Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
note
produced in the central bank will Fix the agreement mistake
notes
also
reduce
and Wrong verb form
be reduced
this
will save the environment by lessen
the number of trees used to make money. Other than that, by using online platforms, it will be easier to make worldwide online transactions Change the verb form
lessening
such
as online shopping and trading.
However
, some people might protest and still use cash
payment such
as elderly
or people Correct article usage
the elderly
that
live in rural areas. Correct pronoun usage
who
This
is due to
lack
of technology knowledge as they might be scared of making mistakes Correct article usage
a lack
while
doing the online settlement or getting tricked by scammers. Moreover
, a certain amount of individuals still believe that cash
have
Change the verb form
has
value
of money compared to some numbers in Add an article
a value
the value
online
bank Add an article
an online
the online
account
, making them still Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
using
Wrong verb form
use
cash
as main
payment Correct pronoun usage
their main
tools
.
In conclusion, we need to move at the same pace as the growth of our technology devices. These issues can be prevented by teaching people the right way Fix the agreement mistake
tool
of using
the platform or by creating Change preposition
to use
the
applications Correct article usage
apply
simpler
to get a better and faster understanding.Correct word choice
apply
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task achievement
Improve the clarity and sophistication of ideas. For example, further elaborate on how reducing cash usage will benefit the environment and give more concrete examples.
task achievement
Ensure all points are well-developed and provide specific examples to illustrate these points. This makes your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas to enhance the flow of the essay. Ensuring smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs will help your essay read more naturally.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistency in verb tenses and improve grammar to ensure clear expression. For example, 'improvised' should be 'adopted,' and 'lessen' should be 'reduce.'
task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the question and covers major aspects of the topic, including potential objections.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are well-presented, giving the essay a clear structure.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically organized and connected, making the essay easy to follow.