In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you thinks some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

#future #people #shops #cash #payments #card #phones

Nowadays, it is undeniable that electronic payments have spread not only in in-store shopping

mall

Fix the agreement mistake

malls

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

small

Change preposition

in small

show examples

markets and stalls. There is no need for individuals to carry

heavy

Add an article

a heavy

show examples

and big

wallet

Fix the agreement mistake

wallets

show examples

with

cash

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

, as many places improvised

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cashless payments. I agree that we can lessen the amount of

cash

we use daily for any purchases. In my opinion, all

cash

uses

Fix the agreement mistake

use

show examples

in making purchases will diminish one day and

replace

Wrong verb form

be replaced

show examples

with

card

Fix the agreement mistake

cards

show examples

using

Verb problem

apply

show examples

phones. The advantage of it is that we can adapt to new technology

advancement

Fix the agreement mistake

advancements

show examples

with just a swipe of the card. The amount of

note

Fix the agreement mistake

notes

show examples

produced in the central bank will

also

reduce

Wrong verb form

be reduced

show examples

and

this

will save the environment by

lessen

Change the verb form

lessening

show examples

the number of trees used to make money. Other than that, by using online platforms, it will be easier to make worldwide online transactions

such

as online shopping and trading.

However

, some people might protest and still use

cash

payment

such

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

or people

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

live in rural areas.

This

due to

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of technology knowledge as they might be scared of making mistakes

while

doing the online settlement or getting tricked by scammers.

Moreover

, a certain amount of individuals still believe that

cash

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

value

Add an article

a value

the value

show examples

of money compared to some numbers in

online

Add an article

an online

the online

show examples

bank

account

Fix the agreement mistake

accounts

show examples

, making them still

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

cash

main

Correct pronoun usage

their main

show examples

payment

tools

Fix the agreement mistake

tool

show examples

. In conclusion, we need to move at the same pace as the growth of our technology devices. These issues can be prevented by teaching people the right way

of using

Change preposition

to use

show examples

the platform or by creating

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

applications

simpler

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

to get a better and faster understanding.

Submitted by izziannblh on Thu Aug 01 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Improve the clarity and sophistication of ideas. For example, further elaborate on how reducing cash usage will benefit the environment and give more concrete examples.

task achievement

Ensure all points are well-developed and provide specific examples to illustrate these points. This makes your arguments stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Improve the organization of ideas to enhance the flow of the essay. Ensuring smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs will help your essay read more naturally.

coherence cohesion

Maintain consistency in verb tenses and improve grammar to ensure clear expression. For example, 'improvised' should be 'adopted,' and 'lessen' should be 'reduce.'

task achievement

The essay provides a clear response to the question and covers major aspects of the topic, including potential objections.

coherence cohesion

Both the introduction and conclusion are well-presented, giving the essay a clear structure.

coherence cohesion

The main points are logically organized and connected, making the essay easy to follow.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

digital payments
convenient
efficiency
reduce crime
tangibility
privacy
limited access to technology
job losses

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In some countries the average worker is obliged to retire at the age of 50, while in others people can work until they are 65 or 70. Meanwhile, we see some politicians enjoying power well into their eighties. Clearly, there is little agreement on an appropriate retirement age. Until what age do you think people should be encouraged to remain in paid employment?
Currently, there are controversies over the retirement age for employees and politicians. While several entities stopped working at 50 years old and some up to 70 years old, many politicians benefit from power and wealth until they are aged. In my opinion, I think working as a civil servant is completely different from a political career, therefore, an average age of 65 years is enough for a hard-working citizen to start receiving a pension.
6
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
In this day, a foreign language has become an essential skill. According to certain educational specialists, it is more beneficial for children to begin learning a foreign language in their primary school rather than waiting until secondary school. In this essay, I will explain why some experts think children should start learning a foreign language in primary school and whether the good points are more than the bad points.
7
band
Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Railway plays an essential role in transporting by less money. Nowadays, the debate has been ongoing for years between individuals about whether governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. I strongly believe that expanding the train system should be prioritized due to its efficiency and sustainability.
6
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
This day, the longevity of residents is increasing in several countries and leads to overpopulation. However, some people think that having an elderly population has more benefits than negative effects. In my opinion, I think that such a claim is correct to a certain extent.
8.5
band
Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is an undeniable fact that people’s dependency on computers has surged for communications, medical and busses or train facilities in today’s era. This dependency can lead to some disadvantages. I agree with the notion that computers are useful in daily life but there are some demerits of using them.

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you thinks some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?