Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent years, there has been a compelling debate about learning excessive
subjects
along with
main
subjects
in distinct majors by
students
at universities.
While
some people argue that
students
should focus on their staple
subjects
, others and I firmly believe that if
students
are interested in more knowledge, they should be allowed to acquire them. On the one hand, the opponents suggest that making
attempt
Correct article usage
an attempt
show examples
to learn more than
students
’ assignments might distract their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
and reduce their concentration.
Additionally
, they state that in order to expert people,
students
should be focused on their important lessons and put all their attention on gaining in-depth knowledge. These thoughts particularly are regarded
for
Change preposition
as
show examples
toughest
Correct article usage
the toughest
show examples
majors that include health care and engineering.
On the other hand
, the advocates, including me propose that
students
must upbringing their brain in the way of creating long-lasting innovative things in their field of work. They
also
can benefit from learning more than necessary
subjects
and understand
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
from different perspectives.
For example
, Leonardo da Vinci
as
Correct your spelling
was
show examples
a genius his mathematics knowledge
coupled with
Correct pronoun usage
his architecture
show examples
architecture
Replace the word
architectural
show examples
skills created the historical arts that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have been regarded as an amazing miracle in art until now. In conclusion,
although
there are little difficulties in the way of learning more
subjects
, I wholeheartedly believe that it would flourish human abilities and create innovative
version
Fix the agreement mistake
versions
show examples
of individuals.
Submitted by saharaqajani on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear discussion of both viewpoints and provides your opinion on the topic. However, there are a few areas where improvements could be made to fully achieve the task response. Consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on your arguments to strengthen them.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a consistent structure, introducing the topic, presenting both sides of the argument, and concluding effectively. However, the logical flow could be enhanced by using more cohesive devices and making smooth transitions between ideas. Additionally, refining some of the sentences for clarity will help maintain coherence throughout the essay.
task achievement
You have clearly presented both sides of the argument and provided a conclusion that reflects your stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with distinct paragraphs discussing each viewpoint and a clear introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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