Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In recent years, there has been a compelling debate about learning excessive
subjects
along with
main subjects
in distinct majors by students
at universities. While
some people argue that students
should focus on their staple subjects
, others and I firmly believe that if students
are interested in more knowledge, they should be allowed to acquire them.
On the one hand, the opponents suggest that making attempt
to learn more than Correct article usage
an attempt
students
’ assignments might distract their mind
and reduce their concentration. Fix the agreement mistake
minds
Additionally
, they state that in order to expert people, students
should be focused on their important lessons and put all their attention on gaining in-depth knowledge. These thoughts particularly are regarded for
Change preposition
as
toughest
majors that include health care and engineering.
Correct article usage
the toughest
On the other hand
, the advocates, including me propose that students
must upbringing their brain in the way of creating long-lasting innovative things in their field of work. They also
can benefit from learning more than necessary subjects
and understand lesson
from different perspectives. Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
For example
, Leonardo da Vinci as
a genius his mathematics knowledge Correct your spelling
was
coupled with
Correct pronoun usage
his architecture
architecture
skills created the historical arts that Replace the word
architectural
they
have been regarded as an amazing miracle in art until now.
In conclusion, Correct pronoun usage
apply
although
there are little difficulties in the way of learning more subjects
, I wholeheartedly believe that it would flourish human abilities and create innovative version
of individuals.Fix the agreement mistake
versions
Submitted by saharaqajani on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear discussion of both viewpoints and provides your opinion on the topic. However, there are a few areas where improvements could be made to fully achieve the task response. Consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on your arguments to strengthen them.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a consistent structure, introducing the topic, presenting both sides of the argument, and concluding effectively. However, the logical flow could be enhanced by using more cohesive devices and making smooth transitions between ideas. Additionally, refining some of the sentences for clarity will help maintain coherence throughout the essay.
task achievement
You have clearly presented both sides of the argument and provided a conclusion that reflects your stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with distinct paragraphs discussing each viewpoint and a clear introduction and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.