IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The best way to obtain/ the key to/ most important factor in job satisfaction is salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Best-way)

#factor #job #satisfaction #salary #best-way
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For
a
Change the article
an
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employee
Add a comma
employee,
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 the
job
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 contentment is about remuneration only. I,
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
 disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some people consider
Use synonyms
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
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 package as
a
Remove the article
apply
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job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
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. For
them
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them,
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 financial security is the utmost priority rather than
job
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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role
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 and
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.
Desirable
Correct article usage
A desirable
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 lifestyle is something that some people nowadays
coginate
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cognate
cogitate
 about,
Linking Words
however
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however,
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 they do not focus on whether the task or
job
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role
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 they are playing
is aligning
Wrong verb form
aligns
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 with their background and skill set, which directly
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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poor work efficiency and
effectivity
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effectiveness
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. Though a
condsiderable
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considerable
salary
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 package would be a great source of motivation for
such
Linking Words
 employees.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, factors like work
enviorment
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environment
, harmonious
relationship
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relationships
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 with co-workers and seniors, supportive
managment
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management
,
good
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and good
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 working conditions
overplays
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overplay
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 the
role
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 comparitively to
salary
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 as a key or prominent factor in
a
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apply
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job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
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.
In Addition
Linking Words
, progression and growth
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 something that
a
Change the article
an
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 employee is always looking for their betterment and contentment.
Hike in
Add a hyphen
Hike-in
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 packages
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not the only important factor for sustainable
job
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satisfaction
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
, as per
above
Correct article usage
the above
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 elaboration of my points I opine that factors other than
salary
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 like work-life balance, collegial atmosphere, designation in a
job
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, working hours play
more
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a more
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 significant
role
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 in
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Add an article
the satisfaction
show examples
 of a
job
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by simranjit2598 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear, single main point that is expanded with specific examples and detailed explanations.
task achievement
Address counter-arguments to show a more in-depth discussion on why salary alone is not the most significant factor.
task achievement
Avoid repetition of words and phrases to make the essay more engaging and professional.
coherence cohesion
Work on spelling and grammatical accuracy to improve clarity and communication.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The writer tackles the topic by considering both sides of the argument, thus fulfilling the task effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Financial security
  • 2. Desirable lifestyle
  • 3. Significant motivator
  • 4. Job responsibilities
  • 5. Engagement and challenge
  • 6. Positive work environment
  • 7. Supportive management
  • 8. Career progression
  • 9. Professional growth
  • 10. Skill development
  • 11. Sustainable job satisfaction
  • 12. Work-life balance
  • 13. Flexible working hours
  • 14. Reasonable workloads
  • 15. Healthy work-life balance
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