You live in a small university town. Last week, you drove to a big city about two hours away to buy a new laptop at a good price. You worked on the laptop all week and finished writing a long assignment that is due shortly. However, this week,the laptop doesn't even switch on. Write to the store. In your letter: •Tell the store where you live & what happened •Explain the problem with the laptop •State what actions you would like the store to take
#university #town #week #city #two #hours #laptop #price #assignment #doesn #switch #store #•tell #•explain #•state #actions
Dear
store
employees
I am writing in order to complain about regarding the product purchased from your Use synonyms
store
.I live in a small university town. I trusted your Use synonyms
store
for a long time. Use synonyms
Last
week I drove to a big city and I visited your Linking Words
store
. I bought a new Use synonyms
laptop
.Use synonyms
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
this
Linking Words
laptop
broke my confidence.
Use synonyms
Last
week I bought a new Linking Words
laptop
in your Use synonyms
store
. My first concern is Use synonyms
laptop
Use synonyms
was
worked fine at first but Unnecessary verb
apply
this
week the Linking Words
laptop
doesn't switch on. Use synonyms
Second
problem is I need to write more for a special project. But everything stopped because Change the article
The second
of
it didn't work.Change preposition
apply
In
Linking Words
addition
spend a lot of time on it. I think these are Add a comma
addition,
a
big issues. Well actually, I am disappointed Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
for
Change preposition
about
this
. I really wanted to work on a new Linking Words
laptop
.
I am sure you will consider my appeal soon. I would be grateful if you could give me a full refund.
I look forward to your reply and a resolution to my problem.
Yours faithfully
Abdurahmonova FotimaUse synonyms
Submitted by omondavlat91 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to create clearer paragraphs, each focusing on a single idea. This will help improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure could be improved by clearly separating the personal story, the problem description, and the requested action into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Consider correcting minor grammatical errors and rephrasing some sentences for clarity. For example, "My first concern is laptop was worked fine at first" could be improved to "Initially, the laptop worked fine, but this week it doesn't switch on."
task achievement
You've clearly explained the issue with the laptop and the impact it has on your work, which is important for the store to understand.
coherence cohesion
The closing and greeting were appropriate and polite, which is suitable for formal correspondence.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite