In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In the past, rural
people
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used to live in the countryside and rarely moved to
cities
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. At present, more and more rural
people
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choose to live in
cities
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and
Correct word choice
apply
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result
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resulting
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in a population decrease
on
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in
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countryside
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the countryside
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. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will argue that
this
Linking Words
development
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is positive.
First,
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with
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development
Correct article usage
the development
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of a country, there are more
oppotunities
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opportunities
in
cites
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cities
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, both professionally and personally. Especially in some big
cities
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,
such
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as Beijing, Shanghai, and Guangzhou, there both are first-line
cities
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in China, where
people
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live can access better education and healthcare services.
Also
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, as the employment market
thrive
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thrives
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in
cities
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,
people
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can get
higher
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a higher
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payment. Particularly, their
offsprings
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offspring
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could study at a better school, which
are
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is
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very important for children's
developments
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development
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.
By contrast
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, these communal services and employment
market
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markets
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in the countryside might be less effective.
Hence
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, rural
prople
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people
are more willing to live in
cities
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.
Second,
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more
people
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living in
cities
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is beneficial to the
development
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of
cities
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. The increase
of
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in
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population can help
government
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the government
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solve
workforce
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the workforce
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reduction problem. On the flip side,
people
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migrate
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migrating
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to
cities
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can boost many sectors. Take,
for example
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, population increase can push the manufacturing advancement, and
that is
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what happening in many Asia
cities
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. Most importantly, with many sectors
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of developement
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developement
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development
, government have more resources, like financial and political resources, to solve the problems in
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cities
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city
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developement
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development
. In conclusion, nowadays, rural
people
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living in the
cities
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is a positive
development
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. Because
people
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can have more
oppornities
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opportunities
in careers and private lives.
Also
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,
Cities
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can
have benefits
Wrong verb form
benefit
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from
this
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.

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task achievement
Consider addressing potential drawbacks of rural-to-urban migration to provide a more balanced view.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammar and spelling errors. For instance, 'oppotunities' should be 'opportunities' and 'cites' should be 'cities'.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points. Mentioning specific cities in China illustrates your arguments well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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