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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statements ? with the help of technology , students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly.

2.5 / 9
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Introduction
These days we can do anything
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
easily
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 .So, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
technology
Use synonyms
 is
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 for many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 and we can benefit
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 it by
multilple
Correct your spelling
multiple
 methods ,
While
Linking Words
 Others believe that
technology
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a drawback for society.
Thiss
Correct your spelling
This
eassay
Correct your spelling
essay
 will discuss both sides and will draw my personal
conclsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
.
Body paragraph 1
In
Change preposition
On
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one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, the
people
Use synonyms
 who think do everything with developments
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
,
Firstly
Linking Words
, they can use it for
studay
Correct your spelling
study
 and solve
thier
Correct your spelling
their
assiment
Correct your spelling
assignment
For example
Linking Words
, to get ready for
athier
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their
 project .
secondly
Linking Words
, it
is help
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helps
show examples
 them to
trun
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turn
run
 on
thier
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their
 mind by
solve
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solving
show examples
 puzzles .
thirdly
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 if they fall a
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bored they can watch a movie. So,
that is
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 why some
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is
benefit
Add an article
a benefit
the benefit
show examples
 .
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 disagree a
technology
Use synonyms
, because it
is have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many
electirc
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electric
 To
iullstrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
, it is damage
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 kids . and some
people
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can control with use
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 devices .
Moreover
Linking Words
, maybe it is
reason
Correct article usage
a reason
show examples
 to lose
foucs
Correct your spelling
focus
 on the mind.
In addition
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, the high
a
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apply
show examples
screen reason for
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
 no vision.
Also
Linking Words
, the
boday
Correct your spelling
body
 will have a lot of
electric
Replace the word
electricity
show examples
.
Conclusion
in
conclsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, after analysis of both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
view
Change preposition
of view
show examples
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that agree with
Correct article usage
the tecnology
show examples
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
exsict
Correct your spelling
exercise
, it
is have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many benefits but we should take care with use
it
Change preposition
of it
show examples
.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a generally clear position on whether technology benefits society, but it doesn't fully address the specific viewpoint given in the prompt about students learning more information quickly. Stay focused on the task topic.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, you must ensure logical connections between your points. The essay needs better transitions between ideas and paragraphs, which contribute to a smoother flow.
task achievement
Your main points have some support, but the examples are not well-developed or clear. Try to provide more specific, detailed examples to better illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You should work on sentence structure, grammar, and vocabulary to improve clarity. There are several grammatical errors that can make the essay confusing and harder to read. Proofread your work and consider getting feedback from others.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments well.
task achievement
You’ve made a commendable effort to discuss both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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