Do you agree or disagree with the following statements ? with the help of technology , students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days we can do anything
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
easily
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
technology
.So, some
people
think that
technology
is
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
for many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
and we can benefit
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
it by
multilple
Correct your spelling
multiple
methods ,
While
Others believe that
technology
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a drawback for society.
Thiss
Correct your spelling
This
eassay
Correct your spelling
essay
will discuss both sides and will draw my personal
conclsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, the
people
who think do everything with developments
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
technology
,
Firstly
, they can use it for
studay
Correct your spelling
study
and solve
thier
Correct your spelling
their
assiment
Correct your spelling
assignment
For example
, to get ready for
athier
Correct your spelling
their
project .
secondly
, it
is help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
them to
trun
Correct your spelling
turn
run
on
thier
Correct your spelling
their
mind by
solve
Change the verb form
solving
show examples
puzzles .
thirdly
if they fall a
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bored they can watch a movie. So,
that is
why some
people
think that it is
benefit
Add an article
a benefit
the benefit
show examples
.
On the other hand
, a lot of
people
disagree a
technology
, because it
is have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
many
electirc
Correct your spelling
electric
To
iullstrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
, it is damage
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
kids . and some
people
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can control with use
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
devices .
Moreover
, maybe it is
reason
Correct article usage
a reason
show examples
to lose
foucs
Correct your spelling
focus
on the mind.
In addition
, the high
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
screen reason for
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
no vision.
Also
, the
boday
Correct your spelling
body
will have a lot of
electric
Replace the word
electricity
show examples
. in
conclsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, after analysis of both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
view
Change preposition
of view
show examples
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that agree with
Correct article usage
the tecnology
show examples
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
exsict
Correct your spelling
exercise
, it
is have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
many benefits but we should take care with use
it
Change preposition
of it
show examples
.
Submitted by shougaldhafere on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay presents a generally clear position on whether technology benefits society, but it doesn't fully address the specific viewpoint given in the prompt about students learning more information quickly. Stay focused on the task topic.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, you must ensure logical connections between your points. The essay needs better transitions between ideas and paragraphs, which contribute to a smoother flow.
task achievement
Your main points have some support, but the examples are not well-developed or clear. Try to provide more specific, detailed examples to better illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You should work on sentence structure, grammar, and vocabulary to improve clarity. There are several grammatical errors that can make the essay confusing and harder to read. Proofread your work and consider getting feedback from others.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments well.
task achievement
You’ve made a commendable effort to discuss both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: