IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Scientists and other researchers should focus their research on areas that are likely to benefit the greatest number of people. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

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Scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 should be carried out in order to aim to be efficient for as many as possible individuals.
However
Linking Words
, limiting
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 particular branches, impairs the purpose of
science
Use synonyms
 and there are many issues to resolve more significant than
peoples'
Change noun form
people's
show examples
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
. The essence of
science
Use synonyms
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 rooted
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
hunger
Add an article
the hunger
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 knowledge.
This
Linking Words
 positive perspective improved
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 race over time regardless aiming individuals'
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
. Perhaps being free is the most efficient fuel of the thesis and theories.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, forcing scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 direction eventually makes it infertile.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are many discoveries that have been
found
Verb problem
made
show examples
 without targeting humans' sake. Atomic bombs
for instance
Linking Words
. Even though it was designed to perish peoples'
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
, owing to
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 as to atoms,
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 race uses electric power
that is
Linking Words
 generated by nuclear plants. People are inclined to picture themselves as the most valuable and top of every being.
This
Linking Words
 is nothing but
selfish
Correct article usage
a selfish
show examples
 mindset which drains
Correct article usage
the planet
show examples
planet
Change noun form
planet's
show examples
 resources and life. There are many species and gorgeous landscapes to protect
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the aid of scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
. Every penny
that is
Linking Words
 spent on
Correct article usage
the worlds'
show examples
worlds'
Change noun form
world's
show examples
 sake, is valuable.
Hence
Linking Words
, saving
Correct article usage
the earths'
show examples
earths'
Change noun form
earths
show examples
 from
extinct
Replace the word
extinction
show examples
 may not sound profitable but
this
Linking Words
 is the payment that must be paid by humans as tenants. In conclusion, some people believe that
science
Use synonyms
 must serve
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the largest number of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. Yet, the influence of
science
Use synonyms
 comes from
curiousity
Correct your spelling
curiosity
 and it should aim the benefit
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not only people but
also
Linking Words
 other life forms.

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, ensure your arguments are clearly developed and directly related to the task prompt. Providing more specific examples would strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer logical structure. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and consider using more linking words and phrases.
language use
Pay attention to grammar and syntax. Some sentences and phrases could be restructured for greater clarity. For example, 'Some people believe that science must serve to the largest number of human' could be improved to 'Some people believe that science should aim to benefit the largest number of people.'
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding your point of view.
task achievement
The topic is addressed from different perspectives, showcasing a depth of thought.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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