Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and giver your own opinion.
Recently,
work
life
has become a hot topic everyone is talking about. A handful of people
work
all their life
under one company while
others work
under many different companies. This
essay will discuss both of these sides and will state my opinion on it.
On one
hand, many Correct article usage
the one
people
argue that working in the same buisness
all their lives can Correct your spelling
business
have
a better Verb problem
give them
chance
to be
promoted, and it will be easy for them to cope with the Change preposition
of being
work
stress they have. Working in the same job for a long period enhances the chanced
of a person being promoted. Replace the word
chance
For example
, someone who is
working for the same company for Wrong verb form
has been
a
12 years will have a better Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
chance
to be
promoted than someone who Change preposition
of being
is
working under the same Wrong verb form
has been
oragnisation
for 5 years. Correct your spelling
organisation
Furthermore
, they will be able to deal with the work
stress and work
life
easier as they are more used to their work
because they have been doing the same work
all their lives,
On the other hand
, many others think that becoming employees at many different buisnesses
can help Correct your spelling
businesses
theit
Correct your spelling
their
work
experience, and will have a better chance
to work
under higher paying companies. Work
experience comes from a person that
deals with different issues during their working Correct pronoun usage
who
life
, by working under different jobs, many people
can gain work
experience because of the different problems they faced
. Wrong verb form
face
Moreover
, getting employed at high paying
jobs will be easier if someone Add a hyphen
high-paying
worked
at many different Wrong verb form
works
work places
as they will know how to deal with different types of Correct your spelling
workplaces
people
. For instance
, knowing when to engage with customers and knowing when they need help.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that working under the same organisation is better because people
will have a better chance
at
getting a promotion and it will be easier for them to cope with their Change preposition
of
work
life
.Submitted by hashoomy2006 on
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task achievement
You have presented both views effectively and provided your own opinion in the conclusion, which fulfills the task achievement criterion. However, make sure to elaborate more on the supporting details for each point to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint and a conclusion that restates your opinion. However, ensure smoother transitions between points to enhance coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which is good for coherence. Aim to make your introduction more engaging and concise to hook the reader's attention from the start.
task achievement
You have effectively presented both sides of the argument, which shows a clear understanding of the topic and task.
task achievement
The conclusion clearly states your opinion, summarizing the essay well.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized into clear, logical paragraphs, which aids in readability and coherence.
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