IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You have bought a new camera but when you got home you found it had some problems. You returned to camera and spoke to the company representative a weird ago but the camera has still not been repaired Write letter to the company In your letter: •introduce yourself •explain the situation •say what action you would like the company to take

#camera #home #company #representative #•introduce #•explain #situation #•say #action
Dear sir or madam I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with
company
 representatives. I have bought
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
camera
however
 when I got it home
l
 found it had some problems. I could not take pictures with
this
camera
. The first thing I would like to draw your attention to is
Correct word choice
that l
show examples
l
 returned the
camera
 and
l
 spoke to the
company
 representative a week ago.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
 the
camera
 has still not been repaired
l
 am extremely dissatisfied
your
Change preposition
with your
show examples
company
 representatives.
In addition
 to
this
company
Add a comma
company,
show examples
 representatives are careless. They are not working well. I am not all pleased that
l
 have
given
Add a missing verb
been given
show examples
 a full refund. It is not acceptable to anyone
did
Correct pronoun usage
who did
show examples
 not help me to make matters worse
l
 have
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
camera
. I would be grateful if you could give me a full refund. I am looking forward to receiving a full refund.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 faithfully Turayeva Rayhona
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to create clearer paragraphs, each dealing with a single idea or point. For example, one paragraph could explain your issue in detail while another could focus on the actions you want the company to take.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of the letter by organizing the events in a clearer sequence. For instance, start by mentioning when you bought the camera, discovered the issue, and then your interactions with company representatives.
task achievement
Provide more specific details to achieve a more complete response. For instance, you could mention the model of the camera, when exactly you bought it, or who you spoke with at the company.
task achievement
Ensure the tone remains professional but firm throughout the letter. Avoid phrases like 'company representatives are careless' which might sound overly negative without details.
task achievement
You clearly stated the problem with the camera and mentioned your dissatisfaction.
greeting and closing
You included an introduction and a fitting closing, which help to structure the letter well.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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