You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. Include • Where you stayed • What the problems were • How they can fix your complaints

Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to express my dismay at the service
my
Change preposition
in my
show examples
room
. I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
recently stayed at a hotel for
conference
Add an article
a conference
the conference
show examples
with my company and there were several problems
my
Change preposition
with my
show examples
room
. The first thing I would like to draw your attention to is
in
Change preposition
that
show examples
my
room
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
have WiFi for my work. Not only WiFi but in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
my
room
don't have
air
Add an article
an air
show examples
conditioner. It was unacceptable. I am disappointed because you going to cost your business. I suggest
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that you set WiFi router and Air Conditioner in all rooms. Yours faithfully, Ibodullayev Diyorbek
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Include more specific details about your stay, such as the name of the hotel and the dates of your stay.
task response
Add more details about the problems you encountered, including how they affected your stay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
general
Double-check the use of definite and indefinite articles to ensure grammatical accuracy.
task response
You have made a clear request for the hotel to address your concerns.
greeting and closing
Your greeting and closing statements are appropriately formal and respectful.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with...
  • ...which I encountered during my recent stay at...
  • The first issue was...
  • Additionally, I found that...
  • Moreover, the... was not up to standard.
  • I suggest that...
  • This experience has left me...
  • I hope you will address these concerns promptly by...
  • To improve your service, you could...
  • As a form of compensation, I would appreciate...
What to do next:
Look at other essays: