As science and technology contribute most to the development of society, science students should get more financial support from government than students in other fields (eg. business, language, etc.). To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#science #technology #development #society #students #support #government #fields #eg #business #language

It has been a commonly discussed topic that science and technology

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

become a most important aspect for the growth of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

students

who study science

subjets

Correct your spelling

subjects

show examples

should get more financial support from

Correct article usage

the governmant

show examples

governmant

Correct your spelling

government

than management and

art

students

. I partially agree with the

said

Verb problem

apply

show examples

statement. With the rapid technological advancement

students

who graduate from science and

techlogy

Correct your spelling

technology

fields

much

Add a missing verb

are much

show examples

needed

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

today's community.

Therefore

it's worth

to give

Verb problem

the

show examples

required support for those

students

with their research

actvities

Correct your spelling

activities

and scholarships if required.

Moreover

Add a comma

Moreover,

show examples

most of the sophisticated books used in these subjects are expensive and authorities can give financial support as those research can help with the main problems of the country. For

Change preposition

apply

show examples

example, in 2022, medical and biotechnology

students

discovered a new mobile ventilator machine to prevent the effects of COVID-19.

This

emphasize

Change the verb form

emphasizes

show examples

the reason that

Correct article usage

the goverment

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

should

prioratize

Correct your spelling

prioritise

entrepreneur or literature

students

On the other hand

, it is not advisable to ignore individuals with business and language areas as those

also

Add a missing verb

are also

show examples

important

same

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

as sci-tech

gradutes

Correct your spelling

graduates

. Each field has its own unique contributions and values that enrich the culture, economy and diversity of society. For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

instance,

art

students

can express the identity and heritage of a nation by creating distinctive and original works of

art

such

as paintings, sculptures and architecture. These works of

art

can not only attract a large number of tourists but

also

promote cultural exchange and inspire creativity. They can

also

stimulate consumer demand and drive supply, which are vital for economic growth and stability. In conclusion, bio and technology learners are vital for a better nation,

whereas

managers and architects

also

can boost the economy by providing goods and services, creating jobs and generating income.

Therefore

, every field should equally get help from authority when required.

Submitted by pererahimasha10 on Mon Aug 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay would benefit from a clearer and more concise thesis statement in the introduction. Additionally, the argument could be made stronger by clearly outlining points in separate paragraphs and maintaining focus on each point.

coherence

To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph has a single clear topic and use transition words to help the reader follow the arguments. Avoid sudden shifts in ideas.

cohesion

Pay attention to grammar and spelling to make the essay more polished. This includes common spelling errors (e.g., 'govermant' should be 'government', 'techlogy' should be 'technology', etc.). Proofreading your work can help catch these errors.

task response

The essay provides relevant and specific examples, which effectively support the main points and arguments.

coherence

The conclusion aptly summarizes the main points of the essay and restates the balanced viewpoint.

task response

The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, presenting a balanced view and acknowledging the importance of various fields of study.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

contribute
development
society
financial support
science students
other fields
government
equal
pursue
scientific studies
balanced approach
academic qualifications

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?
These days,It is becoming more and more popular to live in houses rather than apartments.Most of the community might prefer to move their apartments to residences.As a matter of fact,there are many advantages and disadvantages of living in houses.In this essay,I will address some pros and cons of changing the location of life.
6
band
Air pollution is the most important concern of many countries. What are the main causes and effects of this issue?
In today's world pollution of air is one of the greatest issues in the environment. This essay will discuss both possible causes and consequences of the problem.
4
band
Some people believe that car-free days are effective ways to reduce air pollution. However, others argue that there are other ways that are more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over the fact that efficient tactics of decreasing air contamination. While some hold a strong view that there are other methods that are more effective, the opposite makes a statement that car-free days are effective approaches to diminish air contamination. While the former is valid to some extent, I consider myself an advocate of the latter.
7.5
band
Some people believe that vaping is a safer alternative to smoking and helps people quit smoking, while others think that e-cigarettes are harmful and may lead to vapers becoming smokers in the future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is often said that vaping is healthier than smoking and helps smokers quit their habit. However, many are concerned about the potential harm of e-cigarettes and their role in leading people to become smokers. While it might be true that vaping is less dangerous than smoking, I believe the substances in e-cigarettes are proven to be harmful and addictive and should be regulated more strictly.
4.5
band
In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?
The surge of doping in athletes seen in the past few years is concerning. This essay will dwell upon the consequences of this practices in young athletes' health, as well as a to prompt health and sports ministries to find solutions to these problem.

As science and technology contribute most to the development of society, science students should get more financial support from government than students in other fields (eg. business, language, etc.). To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Air pollution is the most important concern of many countries. What are the main causes and effects of this issue?

Some people believe that car-free days are effective ways to reduce air pollution. However, others argue that there are other ways that are more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that vaping is a safer alternative to smoking and helps people quit smoking, while others think that e-cigarettes are harmful and may lead to vapers becoming smokers in the future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?