Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past 30 years that many cities in the world are now one big traffic jam. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?
Heavy traffic congestion problems have been surging
due to
increasing car ownership over the last
3 decades. In my view, that statement is totally right since it can be proved by air
pollution from cars'emmision
and the government should construct public transportation systems and build a friendly commuter for walking and cycling.
Correct your spelling
emissions
Air
pollution is one the toughest problems for many urban areas because vehicles releases
thousands of emissions into the Change the verb form
release
air
which could be damaged
local health residents. Wrong verb form
damage
For example
, a constant stop-and-go- go in traffic jams leads to higher fuel consumption and increases releasing carbon dixode
into the Correct your spelling
dioxide
diode
air
that people staying around breathe polluted air
which may cause lung cancer or related to
lung diseases.
The government should focus on building public transportation for residences Change preposition
apply
such
as extending the grid of buses, and highway trains to decrease the demand for private cars
. For instance
, when commuters can easily access public transport, they choose to use it as a usual moving solution. Consequently
, they don't have any private cars
due to
the tough parking slots nearby. Additionally
, building safe bike lanes and pedestrian-friendly structure
can Fix the agreement mistake
structures
also
reduce reliance on cars
while
encourage
people to do more physical exercise like walking, and cycling daily to their destinations. It could reduce a million of dollars in medical bills and save a clean environment for inhabitants.
Car ownership demand has increased for the Change the verb form
encouraging
last
30 years, it
leads to humans Correct pronoun usage
which
face with
heavy traffic and Wrong verb form
facing
air
pollution from vehicle emissions. Consequently
, the government should start to upgrade the public transportation systems as well as
build safety routes for commuters.Submitted by elizaluu94 on
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt well, but some points could be developed further. For instance, the discussion on air pollution could include more varied impacts, and the suggestions for government actions could provide more specific examples or data.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and lexical resource to enhance readability. Pay attention to errors such as 'cars'emmision' and 'a friendly commuter for walking and cycling.' These distract the reader and can affect overall clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from better paragraph transitions and a more logical flow of ideas. Linking phrases can be used more effectively to connect the points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for the essay. The main points are stated and summarized well.
task response
Good use of specific examples, such as the impact of air pollution from vehicle emissions and the suggestion to build bike lanes and pedestrian-friendly structures.
task response
The writer shows a good understanding of the issue and suggests feasible government measures to tackle the problem.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.