Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympic is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #olympic #games #events #nations #waste #money

This

chart shows the percentage of workers in agriculture, industry and services across four countries in 1980 and 2010. The main features will be highlighted

further

. Starting with agriculture,

it is clear that

this

sector of

economy

Add an article

the economy

show examples

has given its positions to more preferable ones. During those 30 years, agriculture became the least prioritized sphere of economies in countries like Germany,

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

and Japan. China is the only state that still relies on an agricultural field as the main source of its economy. In its turn, industry has an opposite situation: with time, it has become one of the most essential areas of the global economy.

That is

why each of the

country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

shown on the chart has put more

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

towards the development of its industrial sectors The

last

is the sector of services. Despite having a key role in the

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

mechanism of any country,

this

area is given less

credits

Fix the agreement mistake

credit

show examples

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

industrial field.

This

can be explained as having

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

perspectives in the future. To summarize everything presented above, all the tendencies will remain the same so in 30 years the whole picture will be even more distinctive.

Submitted by dulskywork on Mon Aug 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the task by discussing the key features of the chart and offering a summary. However, it would benefit from more detailed comparison and analysis to fully achieve the task.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is generally coherent, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Adding linking words and phrases would help connect your thoughts more effectively.

task achievement

Ensure to explain and expand on each sector with specific data or examples from the chart to make your points clearer and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

Main points of the chart are correctly identified and discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

193 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

foster global unity
international camaraderie
cultural exchange
mutual understanding
platform for showcasing
national pride
human achievement
economic benefits
influx of tourism
boost local economies
infrastructure investments
long-term benefits
enormous costs
pressing social issues
white elephants
poor return on investment
environmental impact
short-lived event

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In some countries, people think women should have equality with men, in particular, equal rights to work as police officers or serve in the army. Others think women are not suitable for such jobs. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Whether women should be given equal opportunity to work in the police force and the military or be restricted because of their incapability bears some consideration. From the writer's perspective, it is essential for women to be able to take part in the same career as men since they have important skills for different situations as well as the same ability to think and learn. despite those who believe that females should not be allowed to do equal tasks as males because of biological differences.
4.5
band
Society is based on rules and laws. If individuals were free to do whatever they want to do, it could not fuction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
When it comes to living in society, some would argue that the existence of rules and laws is pivotal otherwise people would do whatever they wish for. In my opinion, however, it would be possible to live in a society which does not have any laws as we do have ethics and moral already in us.
5
band
In Some Countries,More and more people are becoming interested in finding out abut the history of the house or building they live in what are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
History and architecture have always been something most people find interesting and are fascinated by it. Nowadays with the rapid switch to online, it becomes a lot easier to do a research about any topic and more people are willing to know the details about the place we reside in.
4
band
Large shopping malls are replacing small local shops. Discuss
One of the most conspicuous trends of contemporary world is a colossal upsurge is the shopping malls are now replacing the small local business. Considering this, there are some analysts who believe that it is beneficial, however, opponents disagree. From my perspective, this issue requires a meticulous deliberation. This essay will further demonstrate the reasons and explanations for supporting this contention and thus deduce the logical conclusion.
7.5
band
Some people believe that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other private vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent decades, environmental degradation has become a major concern for many nations. While some people argue that raising the price of fuel is the most effective way to tackle this issue, I believe that other measures should be prioritized.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympic is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

In some countries, people think women should have equality with men, in particular, equal rights to work as police officers or serve in the army. Others think women are not suitable for such jobs. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Society is based on rules and laws. If individuals were free to do whatever they want to do, it could not fuction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?

In Some Countries,More and more people are becoming interested in finding out abut the history of the house or building they live in what are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Large shopping malls are replacing small local shops. Discuss

Some people believe that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other private vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+