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Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympic is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #olympic #games #events #nations #waste #money
This
 chart shows the percentage of workers in agriculture, industry and services across four countries in 1980 and 2010. The main features will be highlighted
further
. Starting with agriculture,
it is clear that
this
 sector of
economy
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the economy
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 has given its positions to more preferable ones. During those 30 years, agriculture became the least prioritized sphere of economies in countries like Germany,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 and Japan. China is the only state that still relies on an agricultural field as the main source of its economy. In its turn, industry has an opposite situation: with time, it has become one of the most essential areas of the global economy.
That is
 why each of the
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 shown on the chart has put more
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
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 towards the development of its industrial sectors The
last
 is the sector of services. Despite having a key role in the
economical
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economic
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 mechanism of any country,
this
 area is given less
credits
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credit
show examples
 than
to
Change preposition
apply
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an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 industrial field.
This
 can be explained as having
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 perspectives in the future. To summarize everything presented above, all the tendencies will remain the same so in 30 years the whole picture will be even more distinctive.
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task by discussing the key features of the chart and offering a summary. However, it would benefit from more detailed comparison and analysis to fully achieve the task.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally coherent, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Adding linking words and phrases would help connect your thoughts more effectively.
task achievement
Ensure to explain and expand on each sector with specific data or examples from the chart to make your points clearer and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Main points of the chart are correctly identified and discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster global unity
  • international camaraderie
  • cultural exchange
  • mutual understanding
  • platform for showcasing
  • national pride
  • human achievement
  • economic benefits
  • influx of tourism
  • boost local economies
  • infrastructure investments
  • long-term benefits
  • enormous costs
  • pressing social issues
  • white elephants
  • poor return on investment
  • environmental impact
  • short-lived event
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