Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympic is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #olympic #games #events #nations #waste #money

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This

chart shows the percentage of workers in agriculture, industry and services across four countries in 1980 and 2010. The main features will be highlighted

further

. Starting with agriculture,

it is clear that

this

sector of

economy

Add an article

the economy

show examples

has given its positions to more preferable ones. During those 30 years, agriculture became the least prioritized sphere of economies in countries like Germany,

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

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and Japan. China is the only state that still relies on an agricultural field as the main source of its economy. In its turn, industry has an opposite situation: with time, it has become one of the most essential areas of the global economy.

That is

why each of the

country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

shown on the chart has put more

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

towards the development of its industrial sectors The

last

is the sector of services. Despite having a key role in the

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

mechanism of any country,

this

area is given less

credits

Fix the agreement mistake

credit

show examples

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

industrial field.

This

can be explained as having

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

perspectives in the future. To summarize everything presented above, all the tendencies will remain the same so in 30 years the whole picture will be even more distinctive.

Submitted by dulskywork on Mon Aug 05 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task by discussing the key features of the chart and offering a summary. However, it would benefit from more detailed comparison and analysis to fully achieve the task.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is generally coherent, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Adding linking words and phrases would help connect your thoughts more effectively.

task achievement

Ensure to explain and expand on each sector with specific data or examples from the chart to make your points clearer and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

Main points of the chart are correctly identified and discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

193 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

foster global unity
international camaraderie
cultural exchange
mutual understanding
platform for showcasing
national pride
human achievement
economic benefits
influx of tourism
boost local economies
infrastructure investments
long-term benefits
enormous costs
pressing social issues
white elephants
poor return on investment
environmental impact
short-lived event

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Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympic is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private healthcare outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and weath than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people, Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.