Some parents believe that extra private lessons outside school hours, where students work alone with a teacher, can help them do better at school. Others disagree. What are the advantages and disadvantages of private tuition?

#parents #lessons #school #hours #students #work #teacher #tuition

Over the

last

few years

wether

Correct your spelling

whether

show examples

additional personal studying after

school

with teachers or not has become one of the

wide ranged

Add a hyphen

wide-ranged

show examples

questions.

However

, some

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

of people argue that

after

Add a hyphen

after-school

show examples

school

lessons

can be useful for

students

while

others support that it is not

sustainable

Add an article

a sustainable

show examples

advantage for pupils. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will debate

pros

Correct article usage

the pros

show examples

and cons of it and I believe

merits

Correct article usage

the merits

show examples

outweighs

drawbacks

Correct article usage

the drawbacks

show examples

To begin

with,

the

Correct article usage

show examples

number of individuals advocate that having outside

school

lessons

assist

Correct subject-verb agreement

assists

show examples

students

to escalate their knowledge. The main reason for

that is

many

students

hesitate to ask questions next to their classmates

therefore

they can stay after all

lessons

and stay with teachers in order to comprehend the

lessons

which they misunderstood.

For instance

, in American schools,

after

Add a hyphen

after-school

show examples

school

lessons

already exist and

students

may face to face interact with their teacher about

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

any topic which they are interested in.

In addition

, they may sharpen their

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

with their friends by means of

practices

Fix the agreement mistake

practice

show examples

Additionally

, swarms of individuals support that staying after

school

and practicing with teachers is not necessary and to maintain their thoughts they bring the idea that

although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they have 5 or 6

hours

education

Change preposition

of education

show examples

school

due to

this

their brain stops accumulating

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

after long

hours

. if they even stay at

school

they will not obtain any information. As an explanation,

the

Correct article usage

show examples

number of people study for for approximately 6 or 7

hours

without taking a rest.

Nonetheless

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

brain stays active to get information only for 2

Change preposition

to 3

show examples

hours

therefore

Verb problem

does not

show examples

matters

Correct subject-verb agreement

matter

show examples

even if they learn something it is intricate to obtain knowledge. In summary,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

although

, swarms of people argue education outside the

school

lessons

is useful. Others think it is nothing to study after

school

. I have shed

Change preposition

apply

show examples

light on pluses and minuses in previous paragraphs and

gave

Wrong verb form

given

show examples

my personal opinion.

Submitted by shakhzod0905 on Mon Aug 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to ensure that your essay has a more clearly defined logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, with clear connections between ideas and examples.

task achievement

Work on enhancing your vocabulary and sentence structures to reduce repetition and improve clarity. Additionally, try to avoid small grammatical errors, which can distract from your overall message. This will help in expressing your ideas more comprehensively.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure for your response.

task achievement

You've included relevant examples, particularly the reference to American schools, which helps to support your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

personalized attention
tailor teaching methods
learning style
address specific areas of weakness
positive reinforcement
academic performance
flexible scheduling
financial strain
socioeconomic disparities
over-reliance
independent study skills
over-scheduling
increased stress
reduced leisure time
development and well-being
unjustly

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Some parents believe that extra private lessons outside school hours, where students work alone with a teacher, can help them do better at school. Others disagree. What are the advantages and disadvantages of private tuition?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? what can be done to encourage more young people to do sports.

Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving hapiness.Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with hapiness.Discuss both views.

Some people think cars are a better way of transportation around the city, while other prefer cycling. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe the professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.