Some parents believe that extra private lessons outside school hours, where students work alone with a teacher, can help them do better at school. Others disagree. What are the advantages and disadvantages of private tuition?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the
last
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few years
wether
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
additional personal studying after
school
Use synonyms
with teachers or not has become one of the
wide ranged
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wide-ranged
show examples
questions.
However
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, some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
of people argue that
after
Add a hyphen
after-school
show examples
school
Use synonyms
lessons
Use synonyms
can be useful for
students
Use synonyms
while
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others support that it is not
sustainable
Add an article
a sustainable
show examples
advantage for pupils. In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will debate
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
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and cons of it and I believe
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
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outweighs
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
.
To begin
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with,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
number of individuals advocate that having outside
school
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lessons
Use synonyms
assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
show examples
students
Use synonyms
to escalate their knowledge. The main reason for
that is
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many
students
Use synonyms
hesitate to ask questions next to their classmates
therefore
Linking Words
they can stay after all
lessons
Use synonyms
and stay with teachers in order to comprehend the
lessons
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which they misunderstood.
For instance
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, in American schools,
after
Add a hyphen
after-school
show examples
school
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lessons
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already exist and
students
Use synonyms
may face to face interact with their teacher about
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
any topic which they are interested in.
In addition
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, they may sharpen their
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
with their friends by means of
practices
Fix the agreement mistake
practice
show examples
.
Additionally
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, swarms of individuals support that staying after
school
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and practicing with teachers is not necessary and to maintain their thoughts they bring the idea that
although
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,
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apply
show examples
they have 5 or 6
hours
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education
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of education
show examples
at
school
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due to
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this
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their brain stops accumulating
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
after long
hours
Use synonyms
. if they even stay at
school
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they will not obtain any information. As an explanation,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
number of people study for for approximately 6 or 7
hours
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without taking a rest.
Nonetheless
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,
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
brain stays active to get information only for 2
3
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to 3
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
therefore
Linking Words
it
no
Verb problem
does not
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matters
Correct subject-verb agreement
matter
show examples
even if they learn something it is intricate to obtain knowledge. In summary,
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
although
Linking Words
, swarms of people argue education outside the
school
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lessons
Use synonyms
is useful. Others think it is nothing to study after
school
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. I have shed
on
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apply
show examples
light on pluses and minuses in previous paragraphs and
gave
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
my personal opinion.
Submitted by shakhzod0905 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that your essay has a more clearly defined logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, with clear connections between ideas and examples.
task achievement
Work on enhancing your vocabulary and sentence structures to reduce repetition and improve clarity. Additionally, try to avoid small grammatical errors, which can distract from your overall message. This will help in expressing your ideas more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure for your response.
task achievement
You've included relevant examples, particularly the reference to American schools, which helps to support your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized attention
  • tailor teaching methods
  • learning style
  • address specific areas of weakness
  • positive reinforcement
  • academic performance
  • flexible scheduling
  • financial strain
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • over-reliance
  • independent study skills
  • over-scheduling
  • increased stress
  • reduced leisure time
  • development and well-being
  • unjustly
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