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Band 5.5

In the modern education system, presentations have become a crucial part of the learning process. Some people argue that this is an effective method for students to learn and develop essential skills, while others believe it puts unnecessary pressure on students. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#education #system #presentations #part #process #people #method #students #skills #pressure
In
this
 era, numerous new methods of teaching have been released in schools, which help
students
 to learn subjects easier and better. Nowadays pupils’ representations are playing a significant role in schooling;
while
, many people support the mentioned method, and they believe it is functional for
students
, others claim that
this
 action puts
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the schoolchild
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schoolchild
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schoolchildren
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 in unbearable
circumstance
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circumstances
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. I agree with the first group and both views will be argued in the following paragraphs. In some’s perspectives, teachers are responsible
to teach
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for teaching
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students
, and learners are not supposed to conduct research projects or prepare presentations for
subjects-which
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subjects
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 they do not have enough information about- because these
kids
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kinds
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 of activities put them
in
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under
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 extra pressure.
For instance
, when a student has to represent a new subject in math, some self-studies need to be done about it and
this
 action contains some misunderstanding errors which has
negative
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a negative
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 impact on him and other classmates. Indeed, they believe tutors should be the only
speaker
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speakers
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 in classrooms to train and prepare
students
 for exams; in
this
way
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way,
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 the
feedbacks
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feedback
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 of the tests will have greater results, and
tutees
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tutees'
tutee's
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 knowledge will improve in a beneficial way. Others and I,
in contrast
, opine that lectures which are given by pupils are helpful for them in diverse aspects.
First,
the presenters learn how to propose a proposal in job environments;
for example
, how to have eye contact with target audiences to keep them interested, or they recognize the influence of
the
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apply
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body language and hand gestures on emphasizing
on
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apply
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points.
Second,
when
students
 try to create visual aids, they use charts and bullet points which is beneficial for learning and remembering the
key words
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keywords
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.
Third,
when
a
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apply
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scholar
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scholars
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 do
researches
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research
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 for their lectures, they may follow and learn extra information about a particular subject which is functional for their general knowledge. All these items are useful for
students
’ future. In brief, there are two viewpoints; from one perspective, doing lectures
are
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is
show examples
 beneficial for learners; from another, these presentations put
students
in
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under
show examples
a
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apply
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pressure which is unneeded. I fiercely agree with the second group and in my opinion, conferences which are done by schoolchild not only
benefits
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benefit
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 their educational situation but
also
 have positive impacts on their future.
Submitted by shaghayegh95shadman on

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General
While the essay is well-structured, ensuring that each main point directly relates to the overall argument can enhance clarity. Try to streamline sentences for better readability.
Coherence
Consider dividing lengthy sentences into shorter ones to reduce complexity and make your arguments more digestible.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, you could provide more detailed examples to support your points. For instance, give specific scenarios where presentations have directly benefited students.
Coherence
The essay presents a balanced discussion, offering both views before presenting the author’s opinion.
Task Achievement
You have effectively outlined the benefits of student presentations and addressed potential drawbacks, showing a clear understanding of the topic.
Coherence
The use of various connective words and phrases, such as 'in contrast,' and 'for instance,' helps maintain coherence throughout the essay.
General
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance, providing a strong ending to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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