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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #population #zealand #age #group #formation #features #comparisons
The table provides information about the
population
 of
age
group
 in New Zealand between 2011 to 2012.
Overall
,
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2011 shows an increase in all ages than 2012.
In addition
, the percentage of the changes for total ages is above 0.6%.
According to
 data children under 15 were gently decreased from 2011 to 2012 around -0.2%.
On the other hand
, the
age
group
 15-39 had the same
changed
Replace the word
change
show examples
 in
group
Add an article
the group
a group
show examples
 under 15.The
age
group
 from 40 to 46
hitting
Wrong verb form
hit
show examples
 a high point
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 +0.6%,
shows
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
in
Change preposition
that
show examples
 people
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
age
 had the highest
population
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
new
Capitalize word
New
show examples
 Zealand.
Furthermore
, the people
in
Change preposition
aged
show examples
age
 65 and older had the lowest number
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
,
however
,
table
Add an article
the table
show examples
 clearly shows
suddenly
Change the word
sudden
show examples
rieas
Correct your spelling
rises
 from 2011 to 2012.
A round
Correct article usage
Round
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
half the
population
 of New Zealand
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group
 15 to 39 years old.
Then
 became
after
this
 the people in
age
 40 to 64 years old.
Submitted by modhialarjani1999 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, age, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • population growth
  • age group
  • increase
  • decline
  • elderly population
  • aging population
  • working-age population
  • stable labor force
  • modest increase
  • significant change
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