IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You are interested in applying for a scholarship program to study at a foreign university Write a letter to the international counsellor at the university In your letter ❑ explain which course you are interested in ❑ tell what you know about the university ❑ state why you should receive the scholarship Begin with ‘Dear Sir or Madam,’ Do not write any addresses. Write at least 15O words

#scholarship #program #study #university #counsellor #course #‘dear #sir #madam #addresses
Dear Sir, My name is Harry and I have been studying Mechanical Engineering
in
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at
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 your college. I am writing in
context
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the context
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 of a scholarship program at Dublin University in England. I am studying the final semester of my degree and want to pursue
Correct article usage
a Masters
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Masters
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Masters's
Master's
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 degree in the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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Mechanical branch of the
above mentioned
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above-mentioned
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 institute as it would open new career opportunities for me. As you are aware of the fact that Dublin University is a reputed institute. The
course work
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coursework
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 taught in there goes hand-in-hand with the practical exposure as well which, provides
overall
 a better understanding of the subject.
Moreover
, they have tie-ups with other foreign colleges and MNCs where they send students for internships that too is
very
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a very
the very
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 attractive aspect that encourages
pupil
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pupils
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 to study
in
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at
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 Dublin University. I would like to mention that I scored 83.5
percent
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per cent
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 marks in my
last
 exams which, is the the primary
criteria
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criterion
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 for getting the scholarship.
Moreover
, I
also
 topped the college. I have a keen interest in studying
further
therefore
, I think I am an ideal candidate to award the scholarship. I am looking forward to
have
Change the verb form
having
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 a positive response from your side. Yours faithfully, Harry.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction provides a clear overview of your letter's purpose, stating explicitly the scholarship and university to avoid confusion.
suitable writing tone
Maintain formal tone throughout. Avoid contractions and ensure subject-verb agreement is consistent for a more professional tone.
coherence cohesion
While your letter is well-organized, aim for smoother transitions between paragraphs for a more seamless read.
task achievement
The letter clearly explains the course of interest and relates it well to career goals.
single idea per paragraph
Each paragraph introduces a single, clear idea, aiding readability.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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