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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the international student enrolments at three universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparison where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the international student enrolments at three universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparison where relevant.
#bar #student #enrolments #three #universities #summarise #information #features #comparison
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The bar chart
depict
Change the verb form
depicts
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 the general student at 3
Use synonyms
university
Change to a plural noun
universities
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.
University
Use synonyms
 of Riverview has the biggest
namber
Correct your spelling
number
 of
students
Use synonyms
 .
Firstly
Linking Words
 , India has between 7000 and 8000
students
Use synonyms
 at
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of Riverview .
Secondly
Linking Words
, Nepal has 5000
students
Use synonyms
 at it .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , 4000
students
Use synonyms
 in Vietnam .
In addition
Linking Words
 , from 1000 to 2000 in Indonesia . Colombia has student
ander
Correct your spelling
and
 1000 . India has 5000 at
Earlwood
Use synonyms
University
Use synonyms
 and 6000
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Smithtown
University
Use synonyms
 .
Also
Linking Words
 , both
Earlwood
Use synonyms
 and Smithtown
University
Use synonyms
 have 4000
students
Use synonyms
 in Nepal .
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, Vietnam has 2000 at
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
the University
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 of Smithtown and 3000 at
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of
Earlwood
Use synonyms
 . Indonesia has at both of these Universities 1000 .
Finally
Linking Words
 , there are 1000 at
Use synonyms
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of
Earlwood
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 and below 1000 at other
Use synonyms
University
Fix the agreement mistake
Universities
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
 , there are many universities around the world and
numbers
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
 of people will be
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 between the universities .
Submitted by alkmariam345 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words university, students, earlwood with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrolment trends
  • steady increase
  • fluctuating enrolments
  • international student numbers
  • comparative analysis
  • favored choice
  • global economic conditions
  • admission policies
  • program offerings
  • student satisfaction
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