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Writing Samples
Band 4

The bar chart details average daily sales (by total number of servings) at a restaurant according to season

#bar #sales #servings #restaurant #season
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The bar chart illustrates the average daily
sales
, measured in the number of servings, of five different items during
winter
 and
summer
.
Overall
, there are significant variations in the
sales
 of these stuffs between the two seasons. Hot
coffee
 and soup are considerably more popular in
winter
,
while
 iced
coffee
 and ice cream see higher
sales
 in
summer
. Salad maintains relatively stable
sales
 across both periods. In
winter
, hot
coffee
 is the most sold thing, with approximately 70 per day.
This
 is almost double the number of servings sold in
summer
, which stands at around 35.
Conversely
, iced
coffee
 has a minimal indicate
this
 span, barely reaching 5, but its popularity soars in
summer
 with
sales
 of about 50. Ice cream follows a similar trend to iced
coffee
,
although
 the differences are less stark.
Winter
sales
 of ice cream are about 20 ,
whereas
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
summer
, it increases to about 35 .Soup, another product that presents a clear seasonal preference, sells
remarkable
Change the word
remarkably
show examples
 more in
winter
, with approximately 60 , compared to just under 20 in
summer
.
Finally
, salad demonstrates the least difference between the intervals, with around 15 sold daily in both
timaframes
Correct your spelling
timeframes
.
Submitted by shakhzod0905 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid minor grammatical and lexical errors to make the essay more polished, e.g., 'stuff' could be better replaced by 'items' or 'products.'
task achievement
Ensure all data mentioned in the chart is included accurately. Double-check figures and terms.
coherence cohesion
Strive to maintain consistency in terminology used to describe the data, such as 'items' rather than switching between 'stuffs' and 'products.'
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical and easy to follow with clear comparative points between seasons.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay a complete feel.
task achievement
Overall responses cover the necessary task points and provide a general insight into the seasonal differences in sales.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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