Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher in urban areas than rural area. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?
The criminal level in the majority of countries is surging in
cities
rather than in the countryside areas
. This
essay will discuss the cause of this
and what measures should be taken to decrease the level.
The reason behind this
phenomenon is because
the rate of living cost in Correct word choice
that
the
urban Correct article usage
apply
areas
is higher than in the suburbs. Daily needs such
as food, housing, and public transportation are charged more expensive even though the goods or services’ qualities are the same. Despite that fact, better job opportunities that are exaggerated by the urban lifestyles always succeed in inviting more village residents to bet their future by coming to the cities
. However
, there are
no guarantee that Change the verb form
is
successful
life can be achieved by only moving from the rural to the metropolis unless people would sacrifice their time and energy to experience a hardworking and competitive culture within Correct article usage
a successful
work’s
Change noun form
work
condition
. Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
Consequently
, citizens who can not adapt with
Change preposition
to
this
challenging situation would find financially
struggling and will unfortunately choose to commit a crime as the solution, by pickpocketing or stealing from others.
Correct pronoun usage
themselves financially
Therefore
, the measurement to reduce this
social problem should be taken. Authorities must create regulations to limit the number of urbanizations, subsequently
, they should expand more job opportunities by multiplying the amount
of industries within the Change the quantifier
number
suburban
. Replace the word
suburbs
As a result
, the job vacancies would be bigger in the rurals
and decreasing the Correct your spelling
rural
villagers
who want a better occupation in the Correct quantifier usage
number of villagers
cities
. Additionally
, economic regulations in the
metropolitan Correct article usage
apply
areas
should be formed by controlling inflation and distributing the same share of salary within all variety of professions. Those acts might lessen the pressure on citizens financially and consequently
, lower the criminal rate.
In conclusion, the living cost pressure in contrast
with its highly competitive working condition makes criminal level
in urban Fix the agreement mistake
levels
areas
higher compared to the suburbs. To tackle this
, authorities should perform regulations that help villagers to
find the same chances in the rural as in the Verb problem
apply
cities
and lessen the citizens' burden
financially.Correct word choice
financial burden
Submitted by annisaseptidwiyanti on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Expand on the examples provided to make them more specific and pertinent to the argument. This will strengthen the relevance and clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Proofread for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to improve readability and clarity (e.g., 'the rate of living cost' should be 'the cost of living').
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures to enhance the sophistication of your writing.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both aspects of the task, providing reasons for higher crime rates in urban areas and suggesting measures to reduce crime.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, with each paragraph dedicated to specific ideas.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and frame the essay well, summarizing the main points effectively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!