Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher in urban areas than rural area. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?

The criminal level in the majority of countries is surging in

cities

Use synonyms

rather than in the countryside

areas

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the cause of

this

Linking Words

and what measures should be taken to decrease the level. The reason behind

this

Linking Words

phenomenon is

because

Correct word choice

that

show examples

the rate of living cost in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

urban

areas

Use synonyms

is higher than in the suburbs. Daily needs

such

Linking Words

as food, housing, and public transportation are charged more expensive even though the goods or services’ qualities are the same. Despite that fact, better job opportunities that are exaggerated by the urban lifestyles always succeed in inviting more village residents to bet their future by coming to the

cities

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

no guarantee that

successful

Correct article usage

a successful

show examples

life can be achieved by only moving from the rural to the metropolis unless people would sacrifice their time and energy to experience a hardworking and competitive culture within

work’s

Change noun form

work

show examples

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

Consequently

Linking Words

, citizens who can not adapt

with

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

challenging situation would find

financially

Correct pronoun usage

themselves financially

show examples

struggling and will unfortunately choose to commit a crime as the solution, by pickpocketing or stealing from others.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the measurement to reduce

this

Linking Words

social problem should be taken. Authorities must create regulations to limit the number of urbanizations,

subsequently

Linking Words

, they should expand more job opportunities by multiplying the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of industries within the

suburban

Replace the word

suburbs

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

, the job vacancies would be bigger in the

rurals

Correct your spelling

rural

and decreasing the

villagers

Correct quantifier usage

number of villagers

show examples

who want a better occupation in the

cities

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

, economic regulations in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

metropolitan

areas

Use synonyms

should be formed by controlling inflation and distributing the same share of salary within all variety of professions. Those acts might lessen the pressure on citizens financially and

consequently

Linking Words

, lower the criminal rate. In conclusion, the living cost pressure

in contrast

Linking Words

with its highly competitive working condition makes criminal

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

in urban

areas

Use synonyms

higher compared to the suburbs. To tackle

this

Linking Words

, authorities should perform regulations that help villagers

Verb problem

apply

show examples

find the same chances in the rural as in the

cities

Use synonyms

and lessen the citizens'

burden

Correct word choice

financial burden

show examples

financially.

annisaseptidwiyanti

Aug 6, 2024

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task achievement

Expand on the examples provided to make them more specific and pertinent to the argument. This will strengthen the relevance and clarity of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Proofread for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to improve readability and clarity (e.g., 'the rate of living cost' should be 'the cost of living').

task achievement

Use a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures to enhance the sophistication of your writing.

task achievement

The essay clearly addresses both aspects of the task, providing reasons for higher crime rates in urban areas and suggesting measures to reduce crime.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, with each paragraph dedicated to specific ideas.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present and frame the essay well, summarizing the main points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crime rate
urban areas
rural areas
populations
economic disparities
illegal activities
anonymity
unemployment
youth
drug and gang problems
aggressive behavior
temptation
denser living conditions
pronounced
alternative means of income

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The unlimited use of cars may cause problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Many people now have the freedom to work and live anywhere because of advances in communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?