An increasing number of professionals such as doctor and teacher are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problem does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?
There is a moral necessity today for the richer Football Championship and from that they
countries
of the world to help the poorer countries
develop in terms of feeding the population,education and health care
. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this
statement?
It is believed that financial help from developed countries
to undeveloped ones is morally required. I absolutely agree with the statement, as it will minimize the gap between rich and poor countries
and it serves the collective interest of humanity
Firstly
,it is well known that in our time when economics affected to Add an article
the country
a country
country
we have richer Add a comma
country,
countries
or poorer countries
. For
example
Qatar and Switzerland are richer Add a comma
example,
countries
in our time. In Qatar wasCorrect article usage
the
payed
millions Correct your spelling
paid
Change preposition
of dollar
dollar
. But they can for Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
this
money help to
people in Africa who are starving and dying. Because Africa compared with Change preposition
apply
other
is Fix the agreement mistake
others
poorest
.
If richer Correct article usage
the poorest
countries
don’t help to
other economies in Change preposition
apply
world
will collapse and will start a war again. Richer Add an article
the world
countries
can help to
poorer Change preposition
apply
countries
with investments. If richer countries
will
invest, in Verb problem
apply
future
poorer Correct article usage
the future
countries
they
will repay in the same coin or even more.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Also
richer Add a comma
Also,
countries
help poorer countries
with clothing, food, education and health care
. Every year in rich countries
have a lot of unnecessary clothes and they throw him
out. When they can give clothes to poor Correct pronoun usage
them
countries
for instance
African people.
In Afghanistan and Pakistan
there is a war going on and Innocent children are dying from lack of food and medical Add a comma
Pakistan,
care
. Also
richer Add a comma
Also,
countries
can help with that.
In conclusion, there is a strong need for the richer countries
of the world to help the poorer countries
regarding feeding the population, studying, and health care
. By providing assistance in these areas, wealthier nations can help address the root causes of poverty and inequality and contribute to a more equitable and just global society.Submitted by dnm.best on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure all points are clearly connected. Use transitional phrases to link ideas smoothly for better coherence.
task achievement
While the essay touches on necessary points, elaborate on examples to strengthen arguments. For instance, discuss specific initiatives or programs that richer countries could use to support poorer nations.
task achievement
Proofread your essay for grammatical and spelling errors. For example, correct phrases like "in our time when economics affected to country" to "in today's world, where economics affect a country."
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance and maintains it throughout the essay, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You've effectively included an introduction and conclusion, providing a complete argument structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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