The pie charts below illustrate the percentages of people in five different employment situations in the country of Evonia over three age categories: 17-25 years old, 26-40 years old and 41-65 years old.

#percentages #people #five #employment #situations #country #evonia #three #age #categories #years

The

presented

Verb problem

apply

show examples

pie charts

shows

Change the verb form

show

show examples

the rates of people in five various occupation sectors in the

and

Ashby

it is clear that

Unemployment

Correct article usage

the Unemployment

show examples

percentage in the

is lower than

Ashby

Change preposition

in Ashby

show examples

by a roughly 4% difference.

Initially

, the two countries share similar percentages of workers in two employment situations, which are shop and office work, with only a 1% difference between them,

However

, construction work in

Ashby

is significantly more popular than

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

as provided in the diagram above.

In addition

, personal service is

also

common

Correct quantifier usage

more common

show examples

Ashby

than it is in Great Britain.

Furthermore

, despite the fact that

Ashby

is higher in some areas, the United Kingdom is

performancing

Correct your spelling

performing

better in unemployment rates and technical work, which illustrates whether the country is developed or not,

also

the

has a higher rate of professional workers.

To sum up

, Great Britain is doing better in settling down unemployment rates and increasing professional and technical workers,

on the other hand

Ashby

has a large

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of employees

uccupating

Correct your spelling

occupation

in personal service.

Submitted by yazanalt523 on Tue Aug 06 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, ashby with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

172 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts below illustrate the percentages of people in five different employment situations in the country of Evonia over three age categories: 17-25 years old, 26-40 years old and 41-65 years old.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages.

In some countries, some school leavers choose to work or travel for a year between finishing secondary school and attending university.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that a job provides not only an income but also a social life. Other people think that it is better to develop a social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+