The pie charts below illustrate the percentages of people in five different employment situations in the country of Evonia over three age categories: 17-25 years old, 26-40 years old and 41-65 years old.

#percentages #people #five #employment #situations #country #evonia #three #age #categories #years

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The

presented

Verb problem

apply

show examples

pie charts

shows

Change the verb form

show

show examples

the rates of people in five various occupation sectors in the

Use synonyms

and

Ashby

Use synonyms

it is clear that

Linking Words

Unemployment

Correct article usage

the Unemployment

show examples

percentage in the

Use synonyms

is lower than

Use synonyms

Ashby

Change preposition

in Ashby

show examples

by a roughly 4% difference.

Initially

Linking Words

, the two countries share similar percentages of workers in two employment situations, which are shop and office work, with only a 1% difference between them,

However

Linking Words

, construction work in

Ashby

Use synonyms

is significantly more popular than

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

Use synonyms

as provided in the diagram above.

In addition

Linking Words

, personal service is

also

Linking Words

common

Correct quantifier usage

more common

show examples

Ashby

Use synonyms

than it is in Great Britain.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, despite the fact that

Ashby

Use synonyms

is higher in some areas, the United Kingdom is

performancing

Correct your spelling

performing

better in unemployment rates and technical work, which illustrates whether the country is developed or not,

also

Linking Words

the

Use synonyms

has a higher rate of professional workers.

To sum up

Linking Words

, Great Britain is doing better in settling down unemployment rates and increasing professional and technical workers,

on the other hand

Linking Words

Ashby

Use synonyms

has a large

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of employees

uccupating

Correct your spelling

occupation

in personal service.

Submitted by yazanalt523 on Tue Aug 06 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, ashby with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

172 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
By the virtue of science and technology breakthroughs, journeys into space have been a possible tendency for scientists. Although often debated, this lavish traveling style seems to be more disadvantageous to most ordinary classes, especially in contemporary life. This essay will prove it by analyzing its minor benefits and its dominant inconveniences.
4
band
television sporting show such as olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much .DO YOU AGREE or disagree ? include relevant examples in your answer and provide your own opinion?
In the ultra epoch ,masses are busy in their works so they have not much time to do exercise.However, it is an argued issue wheather folks are motivating to watch games on the television or not.Eventhough,some people say that those lazy person who have not intrent in the exercise and they also not motivate to watch live games on the screen,i totally accord with the above notion.
5.5
band
Road accidents are more frequent these days and claim many lives each year. As a result, some people suggest that drivers should take regular driving tests throughout their lives, rather than one single driving test, to improve the situation. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, there has been a significant increase in car accidents which results in many lost lives, though people recognize a problem which is a logical solution. It is suggested that one driving test should not be enough for the rest of a person’s life, but regular tests should be taken. This essay will outline the positive and negative side of this statement, however there are more benefits which outweigh the drawbacks.
5
band
University education should be free to everyone, regardless of income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, numerous households suffer from a huge tuition fee given by the university. Many people think that the university doesn't provide sufficient services to satisfy their students since it doesn't reinvest into itself to improve facilities such as a sport centre and dining hall. Although I argue that the university needs to provide superior services, but I don't think the university should be free to whole society.
4
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
People are always in need of buying or renting a home to be under a roof. However, nowadays buying a house has been preferred more than hiring. Personally, I consider it as a good trend , though there are some negative factors.

The pie charts below illustrate the percentages of people in five different employment situations in the country of Evonia over three age categories: 17-25 years old, 26-40 years old and 41-65 years old.

Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

television sporting show such as olympics motivate the youth who do not like to exercise much .DO YOU AGREE or disagree ? include relevant examples in your answer and provide your own opinion?

University education should be free to everyone, regardless of income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.