The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment levels within those groups.

The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment levels within those groups.
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie
chart
and line
chart
illustrate the
percentage
of employees in three different sectors in 2003 and the
unemployment
rates within those groups over a 10-year
period
.
Overall
, in the pie
chart
, the highest proportion of workers was in the "Born in Australia" category,
while
the lowest was in the
ESC
group
. The line
chart
shows a downward trend in
unemployment
rates across all sectors, with the highest
rate
observed in the
NESC
group
throughout the
period
. In the pie
chart
, in 2003, the highest
percentage
of workers, accounting for 76%, belonged to the
Australian
native section. The figure for the
NESC
group
was 14%, significantly lower than the highest
percentage
. The lowest proportion of employees was in the
ESC
group
, at just 10%, which is one-seventh of the highest
percentage
. Regarding the line graph, in 1993, the
NESC
group
had the highest
unemployment
rate
in Australia, standing at 7.5%, followed by the
Australian
and
ESC
sectors with 4% and 3.5%, respectively.
Although
the
unemployment
rate
for the
NESC
group
dramatically decreased to 3% by the end of the observed
period
, it still had the highest
rate
of underemployment.
While
the
unemployment
rate
for the
ESC
group
slightly declined from 3.5% to 2.5%, the
rate
for the
Australian
sector fluctuated and eventually dropped to 1%, which is one-fourth of its initial
rate
. In conclusion, the highest proportion of employees in 2003 was in the "Born in Australia" category,
while
the lowest was in the
ESC
group
. Over the ten-year
period
, the
NESC
group
consistently had the highest
unemployment
rate
, despite a significant decrease,
while
the
Australian
sector experienced the lowest
rate
by the end of the
period
.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, percentage, unemployment, period, esc, group, rate, nesc, australian with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.

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