IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: • Introduce yourself • Explain the situation Say what action you would like the company to take

#camera #home #company #representative #week #situation #action
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Dear Sir/Madam I am writing regarding a camera I bought about a week ago.I am a new customer of your store
,
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apply
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  because my friend
adviced
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advised
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 me that,
this
 is the store that has
a
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better quality on cameras. But there is a problem
on
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with
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 your camera. The problem is
cameras
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camera's
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 autofocus is so slow that it
took
Wrong verb form
takes
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 more than a minute to focus on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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simple things. I do not want to argue about picture quality, but it is hard to snap an object
that is
 moving fast. Not only autofocus
,
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 but
also
over processing
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overprocessing
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 is annoying in some ways like when
take
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taking
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 a picture of
wild life
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wildlife
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 or flowers, the device puts on a filter on its own. Because of the filter,
beauty
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the beauty
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 of the image will gone.If my brother did not
detected
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detect
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 the problem it
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 be a poor value for money.I'm afraid that if you keep selling
this
 type of
items
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item
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, your tech store lose its respect.I would be grateful if my money was refunded or at least the device was replaced .I look forward to
hear
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hearing
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solution
Correct article usage
a solution
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 from you Yours faithfully Safarov Abrorjon
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Avoid run-on sentences by breaking them into smaller, more manageable sentences. This will help make your writing clearer and easier to understand.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph contains a single main idea. This will help improve the overall coherence of your letter.
task achievement
Ensure your tone remains formal and polite throughout the letter, especially when requesting a refund or replacement.
task achievement
You have included all the necessary information regarding the issue with the camera, making your response complete and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are appropriate and contribute to the formal tone of the letter.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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