In spite of the advances made in the sphere of agriculture, many people worldwide still go hungry payment and land. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
Despite the great achievements in the aspect of agriculture, a good number of folks around the world still face the problem of starving. The cause of
this
problem might be the fact, that poor regions' citizens can not afford getting
healthy and satisfying nutrition. The issue can be solved by manufacturing products in these states.
First of all, currently, a lot of individuals' lands lack Change the verb form
to get
of
budget, in order to Remove the preposition
apply
recieve
good meals. It indicates that people are not able to purchase it, Correct your spelling
receive
besides
importing it. This
is true for the majority of destitute nations. For instance
, according to
aa.com, top
9 most starved countries are from Africa and Correct article usage
the top
Middle
East.
Correct article usage
the Middle
However
, the question can be gone
by building food factories and new companies in these areas. Not only it will make the fare more viable to Verb problem
answered
the
societyCorrect article usage
apply
,
it will Add the word(s)
, but
also
create many jobs which means, state's
economy will grow much quicker. Correct article usage
the state's
For example
, in Kazakhstan, there was a massive demand of
cold drinks but all of the outer companies put down high prices, Change preposition
for
however
, in 1998, one of the biggest Kazakh company
, Maxi Fix the agreement mistake
companies
tea
was built, Capitalize word
Tea
which
general public could obtain its products and still be on cash.
In conclusion, many brands put costliness on their products outside their motherland, which hurts external human Correct word choice
and which
beings
wallets. So, governments need to support fresh national companies to avoid high rates of starvation.Change noun form
beings'
being's
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to organize each paragraph more clearly. Your ideas should be logically connected within the paragraphs as well as across the entire essay.
Task Achievement
Use more specific data and detailed examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, state specific numbers or provide more comprehensive scenarios if possible.
Overall
Pay attention to language accuracy and variety. Reduce the occurrence of grammatical inaccuracies and strive to use a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures.
Task Achievement
You addressed both parts of the prompt by discussing why people still go hungry and what can be done to solve this problem.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide context and summary respectively.
Task Achievement
The essay contains some relevant examples, such as those about African nations and Kazakhstan, which help in supporting your points.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...