IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line chart shows the average usage of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in the two seasons of the year, which are
summer
Use synonyms
 and
winter
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart shows detailed information about
winter
Use synonyms
 in percentages. Both are in England.
Overall
Linking Words
,
summer
Use synonyms
 periods are normally stable,
whereas
Linking Words
 the rate is experiencing drastic fluctuations in
summer
Use synonyms
. It can
also
Linking Words
 be seen that heating systems consume most of the
electricity
Use synonyms
 during the
winter
Use synonyms
. At the beginning of the
winter
Use synonyms
 season, citizens double the
electricity
Use synonyms
 use compared to the
summer
Use synonyms
, reaching almost 35000 units.
Moreover
Linking Words
, both lines experienced a decline after a few days, and right after that, slight growth followed up. The endings are matching as well, both of the seasons at the edge start significantly diminishing. Heating rooms and water take the lion's share of the whole chart, just above 50%. The ovens, kettles, and washing machines take 17.5% of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in a house;
however
Linking Words
, it is the second biggest result after heating systems.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, household items share the same percentage as lighting, TV, and radio together, which is 15%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, summer, winter with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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