IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that children should be allowed to go out for outdoor activities. While others believe that children should stay at home most of the time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #activities #home #time
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Self
Add a hyphen
Self-medication
show examples
medication
, the practice of
individuals
 treating their ailments and disease without provisional supervision, is increasingly common
due to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 widespread availability of
over the counter
Add a hyphen
over-the-counter
show examples
drugs
 and the
abundant
Replace the word
abundance
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information online.
While
 the practice
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
 convenience, it
also
 has significant
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 that necessitate The most advantage of
self
Add a hyphen
self-medication
show examples
medication
 is accessibility and convenience.
Most
Change preposition
In most
show examples
 of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 in the world, the healthcare systems are overstretched, leading to high
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 and long waiting times.
Individuals
 can treat
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 quickly and efficiently
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 simple symptoms like
common
Add an article
the common
a common
show examples
 cold, headache and minor infection. The availability of online health information
also
empower
Change the verb form
empowers
show examples
individuals
 to make decisions about their health.
However
,
self
Add a hyphen
self-medication
show examples
medication
 is not with its danger. The most significant
risk
 is the potential for misdiagnosis. Without visiting doctors,
individuals
 can miss
interpretation
Correct article usage
the interpretation
show examples
 of their symptoms,
result
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
 in the
delaying
Replace the word
delayed
show examples
 treatment of serious diseases or the worsening of their conditions.
For instance
, what appears to be simple back pain could be
a symptoms
Correct the article-noun agreement
a symptom
symptoms
show examples
 of
a more serious conditions
Correct the article-noun agreement
more serious conditions
a more serious condition
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 requires professional interventions.
Moreover
, the improper use of the medications is
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
show examples
 concern. Overuse or misuse of
over the counter
Add a hyphen
over-the-counter
show examples
drugs
 could lead to adverse effects and
drugs
Change the noun form
drug
show examples
 interactions.
For example
, the
drugs
 like acetaminophen can cause liver injury.
While
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
antibiotics can contribute to the growing problem of
antibiotics
Change the noun form
antibiotic
show examples
 resistance.
Individuals
 often lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
knowledge about appropriate
dose
Fix the agreement mistake
doses
show examples
 and
combine
Wrong verb form
combined
show examples
 drug
interaction
Fix the agreement mistake
interactions
show examples
, increasing
risk
 of the adverse effects. In conclusion,
while
self
Add a hyphen
self-medication
show examples
medication
 provides convenience and immediate relief, it could be
harmful
Add an article
a harmful
the harmful
show examples
risk
 of adverse events. The key to
minimize
Wrong verb form
minimising
show examples
 the
risk
 lies in
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
 and responsible use of the
over the counter
Add a hyphen
over-the-counter
show examples
drugs
.
Individuals
 should seek
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional advice for serious and persistent
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
. The benefit of
self
Add a hyphen
self-medication
show examples
medication
 can be maximized by minimizing its risks.
Submitted by pat.friend22 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to refine your introduction and conclusion to provide a more clear overview and summary, respectively. This will help in improving the logical structure and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Work on ensuring your ideas are comprehensively clear and well-developed. Use more specific examples and explain how they support your main points. This will make your response more complete and clear.
language usage
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and lexical resource to enhance readability and clarity. Proofread your work to avoid minor inaccuracies and awkward phrasing.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the topic and have addressed both advantages and disadvantages of self-medication well.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a logical progression of ideas, and you have made an effort to support each point with relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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