Nowadays, more and more people engage in dangerous activities, such as sky diving and motorcycling. Are you in favour of them? Use examples to support your opinion.

I don't favour
of
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apply
show examples
them. I understand
the
Correct your spelling
that
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more people want dangerous events but
this
problem some people have
lifestyle
Add an article
a lifestyle
the lifestyle
show examples
that events
Change the determiner
that event
those events
show examples
. I think if some people like different
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
so they should experience
this activities
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this activity
these activities
show examples
.
Then
they rarely or sometimes do. Because dangerous activities can harm them.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
if they can
Add a missing verb
do this
show examples
this activities
Change the determiner
this activity
these activities
show examples
, they must very qualified training and take more lessons.
Submitted by emirhanozkan5757 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer structure, with distinct introduction and conclusion paragraphs to frame your argument.
task achievement
Some of your sentences are unclear due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Try to use clear and simple language to express your ideas.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
You have made a good effort to express your opinion on the topic, and your viewpoint is clear.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • thrill-seeking behavior
  • adrenaline junkie
  • extreme sports
  • risk assessment
  • safety protocols
  • mental resilience
  • physical endurance
  • overcoming phobias
  • personal empowerment
  • mitigate risks
  • hazardous pursuits
  • adventurous spirit
  • life-affirming experiences
  • vigilance
  • calculated risk
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