Nowadays, more and more people engage in dangerous activities, such as sky diving and motorcycling. Are you in favour of them? Use examples to support your opinion.

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I don't favour
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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them. I understand
the
Correct your spelling
that

The word the doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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more people want dangerous events but
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem some people have
lifestyle
Add an article
a lifestyle
the lifestyle

The noun phrase lifestyle seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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that events
Change the determiner
that event
those events

It appears that the singular demonstrative that is modifying the plural noun events. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

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. I think if some people like different
activies
Correct your spelling
activities

If you don’t want activies to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

so they should experience
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this activities
Change the determiner
this activity
these activities

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun activities. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

show examples
.
Then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they rarely or sometimes do. Because dangerous activities can harm them.
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Moreover. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
if they can
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Add a missing verb
do this

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
this activities
Change the determiner
this activity
these activities

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun activities. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

show examples
, they must very qualified training and take more lessons.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer structure, with distinct introduction and conclusion paragraphs to frame your argument.
task achievement
Some of your sentences are unclear due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Try to use clear and simple language to express your ideas.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
You have made a good effort to express your opinion on the topic, and your viewpoint is clear.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • thrill-seeking behavior
  • adrenaline junkie
  • extreme sports
  • risk assessment
  • safety protocols
  • mental resilience
  • physical endurance
  • overcoming phobias
  • personal empowerment
  • mitigate risks
  • hazardous pursuits
  • adventurous spirit
  • life-affirming experiences
  • vigilance
  • calculated risk
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