IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

ou have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter: • introduce yourself • say why you are interested in this sports club • ask some questions about the club e.g. facilities, members, costs

#ou #course #college #sports #facilities #manager #club #questions #e #g #members #costs
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am studying college which is located near the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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club
. I have been training with swimming when I drown in the water. Since I have not done swimming in a long time, I want to do it now. That's why I am writing
this
 letter to you. I was given praise about your
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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club
 by
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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some friends. They said, " There are good conditions and it is cheaper than other
sport
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sports
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 clubs".
Then
 I decided to join your swimming
club
.
However
Add a comma
However,
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 I do not know enough
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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 about it. What I know isn't enough. So I have a lot of questions about your
sport
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sports
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club
. These are: 1) How much does the
club
 cost? 2) How many days a week is there? 3) What time is the
club
 day or night? I hope you quickly reply. Yours faithfully, Shabnam
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
The letter contains all the necessary parts but could benefit from more detailed information about why you are interested in the sports club and how it fits into your life. For example, you could mention the importance of maintaining physical fitness alongside your studies.
coherence cohesion
Structure your letter into clear paragraphs that each cover a single idea (introduction, praise and reason for interest, specific questions). This will improve the readability and logical flow of your letter.
coherence cohesion
Revise sentences for clarity and grammatical accuracy. For example, instead of 'I have been training with swimming when I drown in the water,' you could say, 'I have been training in swimming ever since I almost drowned some time ago.'
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and appropriately formal, making it suitable for the context.
greeting and closing
The letter opens with an effective introduction and closes with a courteous sign-off, enhancing its overall quality.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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