You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room Write to the hotel management to complain. Include • where you stayed • what the problems were • how they can fix your complaints

Dear Sir or Madam I'm Ravshanova Mushtariy and I'm writing in order to complain about the
hotel
which I stayed at yesterday.I had a conference with my company so I needed to stay at the
hotel
.They recommended yours because the
hotel
you own is five-star. At
first
Add a comma
first,
show examples
everything went really well,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
all disappointment started after I wanted to take a shower.First of all the water was really cold and there was no hot water.Second of
all
Add a comma
all,
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I wasn't supplied with shampoo.That was
such
a dissatisfaction.It's not that acceptable it's because not only I
paid
Wrong verb form
pay
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lot's
Change noun form
lots
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of money but
also
it's
five
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
star
Correct your spelling
five-star
show examples
hotel
. I'm feeling
a dissatisfaction
Replace the word
dissatisfied
show examples
therefore
, the breakfast was awful.First of all,the bread was a bit stale and
also
it had an awful smell.To make matters worse the serve was really late. After that another problem occurred.There was something wrong with the air conditioner,
therefore
I called the
hotel
manager to solve
this
problem
however
I didn't receive any help.So I ended up sleeping without
air
Correct article usage
an air
show examples
conditioner and I think that that's even more unacceptable.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
I will be staying at
this
hotel
till next week so I would appreciate it if you could change my room.I look forward to hearing from you Yours faithfully Ravshanova Mushtariy
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph covers one specific idea or issue to improve clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Consider using a more formal tone consistently throughout the letter, especially when addressing serious issues.
task achievement
The letter provides a detailed description of the problems encountered during the stay, enhancing the completeness of the response.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriate and courteous.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with...
  • ...which I encountered during my recent stay at...
  • The first issue was...
  • Additionally, I found that...
  • Moreover, the... was not up to standard.
  • I suggest that...
  • This experience has left me...
  • I hope you will address these concerns promptly by...
  • To improve your service, you could...
  • As a form of compensation, I would appreciate...
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