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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by UK residents in 1999.

The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by UK residents in 1999.
#line #visits #uk #bar #countries #residents
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The line
graph
Use synonyms
 exhibits the migration of
UK
Use synonyms
 citizens
betwen
Correct your spelling
between
 1979 and 1999.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the bar
graph
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 illustrates the most popular countries
vistited
Correct your spelling
visited
 by
UK
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 residents during 1999.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
UK
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 residents started to go abroad significantly from 1984 with a high degree of the gradient.
Especially
Rephrase
In particular
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, 13
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
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UK
Use synonyms
 citizens visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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France in 1999.
However
Linking Words
,
solely
Rephrase
only
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 3
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 of
a
Correct article usage
the
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 whole population in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 went to Turkey in the same year. The highest number of
visiting
Replace the word
visitors
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 was
at
Change preposition
apply
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52
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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throughout
Change preposition
between
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 1979 and 1999.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
overall
Linking Words
 trend of the
graph
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 that
foreigner
Fix the agreement mistake
foreigners
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 visited to
UK
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 increased gradually without a huge fluctuation. It soared by 15 million in the interval between 1979 and 1999, showing that it never went beyond the opposite
graph
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. At the same time, it didn't drop below 10
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 after 1979.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is a strong positive correlation between two line graphs.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, uk, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 5 times.
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