IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You are currently running a course and have a part-time job. Your boss suggested that you leave your course and work full time. Write a letter to your boss. in your letter, you should: -tell him/her your decision -explain the reason of your decision.

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Good afternoon, dear sir. As you know, I'm a part-time worker for the next 6 months
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the course I have participating
during
Change preposition
in during

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 year. Next Friday I
had gotten
Wrong verb form
got

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb had gotten. Consider changing it.

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 the message with the suggestion to interrupt my study for now because of the
company
Change noun form
company's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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 needs. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
email
Add a comma
email,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In this email. Consider adding a comma.

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 I want to discuss
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 statement with you. I'm convinced that I could bring much more benefits to the company after
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun graduation in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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graduation from
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 course. We are learning all kinds of useful skills, suitable to my work.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I believe that after finishing the course I'll be more profitable for our company.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in my humble opinion, it would be
mistake
Add an article
a mistake

The noun phrase mistake seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 to finish my studying now. I hope you'll understand it right and
get
Verb problem
make

There may be a verb use issue here.

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a
Change the article
the

It appears that the phrase a best decision does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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 best decision. Sincerely your's. Best regards. Anastassia

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coherence cohesion
Try to separate different ideas into distinct paragraphs to improve readability and coherence.
task achievement
Consider refining your tone slightly to sound more professional and less conversational.
task achievement
You provided a clear explanation of the reason for your decision and addressed the task appropriately.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are polite and appropriate.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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